


Little Lion

by tracy_martel



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Phan Fluff, Phanfiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2018-09-17 16:37:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 47
Words: 19,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9333659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tracy_martel/pseuds/tracy_martel
Summary: Dan and Phil decide to raise a little girl named Ella. What could go wrong?





	1. "I'm Ella"

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy!  
> I don't really know why i wrote this, but just go with it please.  
> Enjoy!

Dan's pov

 

I looked at the sky as Phil and I walked to the foster home. His blue eyes were looking at the clear blue sky. I smiled at him, knowing he wasn't looking at me. 

“I'm so excited!” Phil exclaimed. God, I've never seen him so happy. Well, when we meet would be an exception.

“Yeah, me to Phil,” I paused, trying to figure out what to say next.

“I can't wait!”

 

Ella’s pov

Year three. 

God.

I've been here for too long. 

I saw Anastasia open the door. 

“Hello gentlemen. May I help you?” She asked kindly. She was a warm, happy person.

“Hello ma'am. My name is Dan Howell, and this is my friend, Phil Lester.” The man, who I assumed was Dan, put out his hand. 

“Hello. My name is Anastasia. Welcome. The children are in the other room.”

I got to see the two men. Both were very tall. Dan had brown hair with chocolate brown eyes. He had a black leather jacket on, accompanied by a grey shirt. Phil had jet black hair, with blue eyes. He was wearing a flannel shirt. I looked down at their hands. There were no rings. I guessed they were just friends. 

They both snooped around. They asked all the kids various questions, until they got to me. My plan was to seem rather unappealing. I didn't want to leave. I never wanted to be found, actually.

“Hi! I'm Phil, and this is my friend, Dan!” Phil said politely. 

“Um, hi. I'm Ella.” I responded.

“How old are you, Ella?”  
Dan asked politely.

“I'm nine.”

“What do you like to do Ella?”

“Mm, I'm a pretty boring person, actually. I like to draw and read. I can play the ukulele, so that's pretty fun.”

“Um, random question, but what are the people that come here?” Phil asked curiously.

“Usually are married, for one. They stay for a while, but they don't come back. Not usually, anyway. If they do come back, they wind up picking out a younger kid. Plus, most get sent to foster homes. I won't be here very long. I was just sent out of the one I was at before.”

“Thank you, Ella.” Both of them got up and walked away.

They seemed pretty nice. The thing was, I thought I wasn't going to get adopted anyway, seeing that I was scheduled for a foster home the next week.

Dan's pov

“I like her.” Phil said to me. He looked genuinely happy.

“Me too. She looks kinda sad though.” I replied.

“Ella? Yeah. She's been here a while. She ran away the day after her birthday. She was seven then.” Anastasia chimed in.

“Why did she run away?” Phil asked. I could hear the dread in his voice.

“That would be invading her privacy, but all I'm going to tell you is that her father wasn't the best one.” Anastasia said. She sounded so depressed when she said it.

“Oh.” Phil moaned.

“Well, I want to adopt Ella. What about you Dan?” Phil looked at me with a smile and a twinkle in his eye.

“Yeah!” I replied enthusiastically.

“Well Ella, you're coming with us.” I said to the little girl.

Her face lit up. I could see happy tears drip down her face. She got up and wrapped her arms around me and Phil.

“Thank you.” She cried happily.


	2. Ready?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hOi!  
> i iS TeM
> 
> Anyway, howdy. Imma tell you a story.
> 
> I left to go get something from a class, when my friend opened the doc and typed this:
> 
> “AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENAAAA BUUU BUUUNANUUUAUUUUU”
> 
> DanFacepalmed
> 
>  
> 
> Y’all got trolled trolololololollolololololololololollolololololoollololoolloloo
> 
> and then added a troll face.
> 
> Thank you Katelyn for that.

Dan's pov

 

“Okay gentlemen, the system is rather complicated. You'll be fostering for a couple of months, and if you decide to keep her, then you'll have to go to court. Other than that, she's yours!" Anastasia smiled. 

“Thank you so much ma’am.” I said to her.

"A quick thing before you go. Ella is a rather quiet child. She isn't one to trust easily. She is often on edge. Be aware of her,"

Me and Phil both nodded at her.

“Good,” she replied.  
“You can come get her tomorrow morning. Give her time to pack up.” Anastasia claimed.

“Thank you so much.” I said to her.

 

Ella's pov

I would leave tomorrow.

All I could think of was the fact that I wouldn't have to go to any more foster homes. 

I started to put my stuff in a suitcase. I thought about how happy I'll be once I leave this dump.

But… what if…. What if what if what if what if….

I try to tell my brain to shut up. God, I hate when it does that.

What if they're like the others? The other homes, I meant. I hoped not. I couldn't live off of drugstore food for very long. 

I crawled into bed and tried to sleep it off. They wouldn't be like that. 

God I hoped not.

 

I woke up to Milly and Squirt jumping on top of me.

“Guys! C’mon! Get off!” I giggled.

“NEVER!” They screamed at me.

After a couple minutes of roughhousing, Anastasia walked in.

“Now girls, stop jumping on your sister.” She told us calmly.

In the orphanage, we are all sisters. No matter what. 

Milly and Squirt came here not too long after me. Milly was living near a dumpster, while Squirt was living in a dangerous community with no home. Both of them were really skinny, and looked like they were going to die at any moment. I hated seeing it. I hated being here, knowing that most of us won't even get adopted.

“Kay. We'll stop.” Squirt told her as Anastasia walked out of the room.

“Well, are you excited or what?!” Milly asked me with anticipation in her eyes.

“Yeah. I'm just gonna miss everyone.” I sighed. I mean, it wasn't a total lie. I wouldn't miss it as much as other places.

“Yeah. But at least you'll be happy, right?” Squirt asked me.

“Yeah,” 

“I'll be happy.”

Dan’s pov

Phil was basically skipping on the pavement. He was so happy. It made me happy. Though he was a foot ahead of me, I still smiled at him.

“Are you excited Dan? I am!” Phil said to me as he skipped down the pavement. 

“Yes, Phil. You asked me that since I walked into the lounge this morning.” I laughed.

 

Phil knocked on the orphanage door. Anastasia welcomed us and let us in.

“She’ll be here in a minute. I think she’s still getting dressed,” Anastasia looked at the floor.

“So just sit down and make yourself comfortable.” She said to us.

The expression on her face looked sad. I realized then that Ella had been there the longest. I made eye contact with her, and gave her a nod. She smiled, understanding what the nod was for. 

Ella’s pov

I threw on my shirt and swinged my backpack over my shoulder. Milly and Squirt ran over to me and threw their skinny arms around my waist. 

“We’ll miss you!” Squirt yelled at me.

“Yeah, me too.” Milly said. I could tell that she was trying not to let out her emotions.

“I’ll promise to visit.” I said to them.

“Pinkie promise?” They asked at the same time.

“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!” We all said in unision.

“Bye! We’ll miss you! Come back soon!” They both shouted at me.

“I will to,” I giggled back to them.

“Just don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone!” I yelled at them.

 

Phil’s pov

I saw her walk out of a noisy room with a big smile on her face.

“Ready?” I ask her.

“Mhm!” She responds. She looked so happy.

Her and Anastasia exchange hugs, and said goodbye. 

“Ready?” I asked as I stuck out my hand to her.

“Ready.”


	3. Walking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i KNOW THIS IS SHORT DON'T YELL AT ME I WILL POST MORE LATER TODAY CALM DOWN FRENS  
> I don't live in the UK, so I have no idea what life is like there. This will be in the UK, just with "american themes."  
> Enjoy!

Dan’s pov

Ella had strawberry blonde hair that just passed the back of her neck. She was rather short, but that might be how I saw her. She was probably average height, and I’m just freakishly tall. Her eyes were a mix of hazel, blue, and green. Kind of like Phil’s, if I think about it for too long. 

She was wearing a red jumper with a pair of ripped jeans. It looked like she had them for a while. Her backpack was purple.

I could see Phil just staring at her happily. I chuckled, which makes Ella look at him. He tried to make it look like he wasn’t doing anything, but he failed. I heard her giggle. Cute.

____  
Ella's pov

I was so happy that I could leave that crummy old place behind. I had something new to keep me alive.


	4. Shoebox

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ACTUALLY KEPT A PROMISE BOI BE PROUD  
> Ye a made a thing.  
> Enjoy!

Ella’s pov

“I went outside every day in the orphanage,” I paused, waiting to get conversation going. I needed to know more about these people who I will spend most of my life with. 

“Was there like, a backyard or something like that?” Dan asked me.

“Nope! There was a thicket over the fence. If you just made your way through it, you would be in this huge forest! It was so pretty and you could climb the trees and there were giant patches of flowers and…” I stopped myself. I sounded like a nerd.

“Go on. I want to know more.” Dan said to me.

I smiled. I really will be happy.

****

Phil smiled at me and shut the door behind him, to let me unpack my stuff and get settled. I looked around the room. The walls were painted a really light shade of gray. There was a window too. I could see the sun setting in the sky. The sky was a mix of yellow, orange, pink, and violet. I opened my bag, and a bunch of folded pieces of paper fell out. I opened one of them. It was a drawing done in crayon. I could hardly read the text of the drawing; almost all of the letters were backwards, and the words weren’t spelled correctly either. Mia wrote this one, I knew that for a fact. Mia was one, but she already has a massive vocabulary. Though she couldn’t really spell correctly, and the letters were backwards, it was still rather impressive. She drew what looked like me and her holding hands. I smiled at the drawings. Cute.

There were a bunch more. There was one from everybody. It made me smile. It was surreal how they all thought of me like that. The last one I pulled out was from Mily and Squirt.

‘Dear Ella,

Anastasia wants us to be all formal and stuff, but I’m not gonna do that. I really don’t feel like writing this either. It’s not like I don’t like you, it’s just that this is gonna get all sappy and stuff.

Aw, don’t say that Milly! I don’t mind sappy.

Of course you don’t. 

Anyway, we just wanted to say goodbye, and thank you for being there and stuff.

Love,

Milly and Squirt’

I laughed at the letter. It sounded as if they were talking to me directly. I pulled out a shoe box. It was full of old pictures, letters, yearbooks, and things along those lines. They were mostly pictures of my old home with my sister and older brother. I smiled at the pictures, which made me feel lonely. If they only knew. My sister, Harper, went to Princeton University in New Jersey to study politics. My brother, Chris, went to the University of Oxford to major in computer science. Harper really wanted to go to Princeton, for a reason that I’m not aware of. Chris went to Oxford because he really didn’t want to move to the US. Harper always wanted that. I don’t know why. I had another sister named Olivia, but I really don’t know what happened to her. She went out one night and never came back. I kept asking my dad about it, but he wouldn't answer. I just hope she’s alive. My mom, on the other hand, died in hospital. She just got really sick one day. My siblings stopped school to move back in to help my dad. Not even they could help, so soon they had to leave.  
I strived to make him happy. I changed everything he commented about. I got sick. Often. I tried raising my grades, but that just lead to more stress on my part. He was often not at home doing God knows what. I didn’t really care. It just left me alone with. I would have to do what a full grown adult would have to do. I took one of my dad’s credit cards and used it whenever I went to the shop. I always got stared at for doing stuff like that, so I eventually just went to a convenience store for everything. It had milk, cold cuts, bread, fruits, and snacks. I never really had to go to the shops, unless I needed meat, olive oil, or things along those lines. I still left a plate of food for him. I could have just not cared for him at all, but I still left food for him. It was kind of comforting to see the plate washed the next morning. I still went to school in the middle of all of this. It was hard, and I usually didn’t pay attention. I never really needed to. I knew everything already. It’s odd to think that I did all of that when I was seven. That’s really hard to think about. I sometimes wonder about what he’s doing now. Without me. Then I tell myself not to care, only because he was a horrible person. Despite all of it though, I can't blame him. His wife died for an unknown reason. He couldn't deal with his grief, so he ignored it.  
I ran away the day after my ninth birthday. I shoved all of my stuff in a backpack and ran. I couldn’t take it anymore, yet, I didn’t want to die. When someone says that they can’t take it anymore, they want to die. I didn’t. I didn’t know what I was going to do, honestly. I just knew that I didn't want to be found. I wanted to be alone. That day, a girl that was maybe three years older than me made fun of my mother. She called her these horrible names. I learned to ignore all other comments about me and my family, but my mother? Now that was passing the line. I remember the whole thing like it was yesterday.

“Your mom must have hated you so much that she killed herself because of how much she hated you.” The girl remarked.

I snapped.

“Why do you care so much about my mom? Why do you do this? Why? It's not like you know me. An I hate you. I hate you so much. So maybe you should take your own damn advice!" I screamed. 

She started to cry. I stepped back. Everyone stared at me. I ran to my house that day. I packed up my stuff and left my home. I started to run. Run as far away from everything. I didn't want to be seen. I didn't want to be found. Eventually, the police found me, and threw me into the system. 

I’m positive that won’t happen again.


	5. Ukelele

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy pham!  
> So have another chapter that I wrote at 3 am instead of doing my English homework. Help me.  
> Enjoy!

Phil’s pov

I could hear something coming from Ella’s room. It sounded like a guitar, or something like that. Yet, it sounded too high pitched. 

“Dan? Do you hear that?”

“Hmm? No, what are you hearing?”

“Something like a guitar, but it sounds lighter? If that makes any sense.”

“Just follow the sound.”

So I did. It lead to Ella’s room. I could hear the sound. Not only that, I could hear her singing. It sounded high pitched, but nice and soothing. Her voice was hushed on purpose, I could tell. I could only pick up a little, but enough.

“Goodbye little room, you’ve served me well  
I’m sorry for all the nail polish and tea I’ve spilled”

…

“You saw my secrets, my fears, my best friend, my tears”  
…

“So here we are, the final goodbye”

…

“A little girl grew up in here”

That’s all I could hear. I knew I shouldn’t have been listening, but I did listen. I guess I didn’t hear the instrument hit the floor, because she opened the door. I fell onto my butt. She looked at me, and laughed. I didn’t really expect that. I thought she was going to be mad, or hate me.

“Are you okay?” She asked sweetly.

“Uh, yeah. You don’t seem mad at me,”

“I’m not. Every kid at the orphanage used to do that. They really liked to hear me play.”

I decided to sit on the floor. She grabbed her instrument, and sat in front of me. 

“Why didn’t you let them watch you play?”

“It’s hard for me to concentrate when people stare at me,” She blushed.

“Where did you get that?” I asked.

“I used allowance money to buy it.” She said as she looked down at it proudly. It was pastel blue, with something engraved on the back.

“What does that say?” I asked her politely. I could see the light in her face dim when I asked.

“You don’t have to answer, if you don’t want to,”

“No, I’ll answer. I’m not very good at keeping secrets, anyway. It’s my brother and sister's names,” She said to me.

“Harper, Chris, and Olivia.” She said with a bit of gloom in her voice.  
“Where are they?”

“Harper went to Princeton, Chris went to Oxford, and Olivia disappeared one day without a trace.”

There was silence. I didn’t know what to say to her. I decided to change the subject.

“How did you learn how to play?”

“I just looked up tutorials on YouTube. It was the only way for me to learn, other than taking classes, but I couldn't afford that.”

“What songs can you play?”

“I can play Thinking Out Loud, Photograph, Two Birds, and some other random songs I can't remember the names of. I had to learn them last one because some eighth graders wanted me to play that for their talent show performance.”

“I know all of those songs, but they didn’t sound like what you were singing.”

“Oh, yeah. I like to write songs too.” She says to me.

“Guys! A new episode of Yuri on Ice just came out!” I hear Dan call from the lounge.

“Wanna go?” I asked her.

“Oki. What’s Yuri on Ice?”

“It’s an anime,”

“What’s an anime?”

“You’ve got a lot to learn.”


	6. Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rises from the dead*  
> I HAVE RETURNED BRETHREN, FOR I WAS SLAYED BY SCHOOL WORK AND FINALS!! BUT DO NOT FEAR!! I HAVE RETURNED WITH MORE FANFIC!!
> 
> your trash bin has come back to give you feels.
> 
> enjoy!

Ella

Tyler was coming over today. It took him eight and a half hours to get here. Or, at least, that’s what I was been told. I’ve only seen pictures of Tyler. I likes his hair. He seemed like a nice and fun guy to be around. I crawled over to the window. My bed was against a wall. At the middle of the bed, there was a window. Since we lived on the top floor, all you could see was the roof of other apartments and businesses. The best part about it is that you could see the sunrise and the sunset. The sun was only just rising. It was so pretty. There was the blue sky, with the mix of the orange sun. I pulled my sketchbook and Crayons out of my bedside draw. My "sketchbook" was really just an old and beaten up spiral notebook I got from the dollar store. All that was in my bedside drawer was Polaroid pictures, my diary, art supplies, song lyrics and chords, and the notes from everyone at the orphanage. I sat in front of the window, and started drawing with the crayons. I was never the best at drawing or coloring, so I just sketched most of the time. It was therapeutic to me. I finally finished the sunrise after twenty minutes of work. It wasn't the greatest thing I’ve done, but I was still proud of it. I grabbed my ukulele from under my bed, and I flopped down on my bed. I started to strum and sing EASE by Troye Sivan, my favorite Troye song. It’s one of the only songs by someone else that I know all the lyrics and chords. I could remember my own song lyrics and chords easily, since I made my songs short (most times) and I made the chords easy to remember. I hushed my singing and tried to be quiet, just in case Dan and Phil were still asleep. I love to sleep, but I loved watching the sunrise more. The sun rose around seven twenty, and they were usually still asleep then. I noticed that Phil usually got up before Dan did. Phil got up at eight, with Dan getting up at eight thirty. I could hear footsteps, thinking it was Phil. The footsteps didn’t last long, though. It was like if someone walked across the hall. I put the ukulele down on my bed, and tiptoed out of the room. I opened the door, to see the tall brown haired boy looking into Phil’s room. I guess he heard me, because he whipped around right as I put one foot out of my room.

“Oh! Um. Hi Ella…” Dan stuttered.  
“Morning, did you sleep-”  
“You’re not going to tell him, right?” He cut me off. He looked like I determined whether he would live to see tomorrow. His face was tinted red, and he made it seem as if I was going to kill him.  
“No, but why did you do that in the first place?” I asked him. I could see his face go red, but to a darker hue. He grabbed my wrist gently and lead me to the lounge.

“You have to promise not to tell anyone, not even Phil, this secret, okay?” He told me.  
“I promise.”

He sighed, and then looked me dead in the eyes.  
“I like Phil.” He said to me.  
“I would hope so. You live with him.” I responded.  
I heard him giggle under his breath.  
“Not like that. More than that.” He said to me.  
I didn’t react right away. I didn't know how to. It wasn't to say that I thought he was weird or something, but I couldn't process that so early in the morning.  
“No reaction, huh?”  
I just shook my head.  
“You don’t mind?” He asked me.  
I never really understood why he asked me that. It wasn't like it would affect me, really. I was indifferent about what he told me.  
“Nope. I don’t care, really.”  
“Promise you won’t tell?” He asked me.  
“Promise.”


	7. My Horrible Person

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO FRENS IM BACK
> 
> Have some fluffy filler before queen Tyler comes
> 
> Enjoy!

 

Phil’s POV

My door was open when I got up. I shrugged it off, thinking I left it open a bit by accident. I got up out of bed, neglecting the large amount of socks on the ground. I peered into the rooms of Dan and Ella. Dan and I had a messy room compared to Ella’s. Her room was tidy; everything was where it needed to be. I shouldn’t have been snooping, but I wound up doing it anyway. Her backpack was still on the floor, not completely unpacked. It really made me aware of the little amount of possessions she had. Her ukulele lied on her bed, accompanied by a bunch of lined paper with sloppy handwriting written all over the paper. The words weren’t even in between the lines. They were just scribbled somewhere on the page. It was rather hard to make out what they said.

_She just wanted to feel something_

…

_Go ahead and kill me, as long as he's safe_

…

_I'll come back for you_

_Back a thousand times I have died_

_…_

_“Cruelty is not the only option I can see”_  

Most of the scribbles looked to be lyrics. I felt rather scared to see them, mostly because they came from a nine year old. I really wanted to ask her about it, but then she would know I was sneaking around. I looked over to her bag, lying on the floor. I saw mostly clothes. Nothing too exciting.

I heard footsteps coming towards me. I put everything the way it was, and ran to my room. I started putting on socks, to make it look like that was what I was doing before. I saw Dan’s head peek out from behind the door.

“You awake?”

“Yup,” I stuttered. I was horrible at keeping secrets.

“You did something, didn't you?” Dan asked.

“Yeah.”

“Never mind it now. Are you coming down? Tyler should be coming soon.”

“Yeah. I'll be down in a second,”

“One.” Dan joked.

“You're a horrible person, you know that, right?” I giggled.

“Well, I'm your horrible person, so deal with it.” he said as he walked out of the room.

**  
I chuckled at the comment, and flopped on my bed. He was right. I was his horrible person.**


	8. Dream of Space

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo wuddup i'm back.  
> I should do my homework but nah.  
> Enjoy!

Ella’s pov

 

I could hear the doorbell ring. The sound echoed through my ears and through my brain. Both of them walked down the flights of stairs that lead to the front door. I trailed behind slowly. All I could see from behind them was someone in a denim colored flannel with neon-ish colored hair. There were laughs and hugs and hellos before I was mentioned.

“So, where is she?” Tyler asked. It seemed like he always smiling.

Both of them cleared out of the way, to “present” me. I waved shyly with a smile.

“Oh my God! You are just too adorable!” He gushed. I could feel my face go a scarlet color.

“C’mon guys. We don’t need the neighbors to think we’re even more odd,” Dan joked. 

I trailed behind them slowly. Tyler was already sitting on the couch, with them on the other side of him. I sat next to Tyler awkwardly, not knowing how to strike up conversation. Luckily, a movie came on that caught Phil’s eye. 

“C’mon! It’s high school musical Dan! Please?” He asked, longing for an answer.

“Fine. But if I start singing, it’s not my fault!”

That comment made all of us laugh.

 

****

 

Dan and Phil were both asleep on the couch now, just leaving Tyler and me. I tapped his shoulder. I could tell that he was uncomfortable. I motioned for him to follow me. I opened the door to my room. He walked in, and I closed the door behind him.

 

“Hi! I don’t really think I made much of a good impression,” he whispered.

I giggled. He sat down on the carpet.

“So, you like it here, huh?”

“Yeah,” I smiled.

“Want me to help you unpack? If you haven’t already.” he offered. I nodded, thinking it could at least start some conversation.

  
  


****

 

Tyler was a funny guy. We laughed as we were putting things away. He was a huge help.

 

“You play?” He asked while pointing at my ukulele sitting on the bed with my papers scattered around it.

 

“Mhm. Do you want me to play something?” I asked kindly.

 

He nodded his head excitedly like a child.

 

I sat on the bed and picked up the ukulele. Tyler sat across from me.

 

I thought against playing a song I wrote. Those were kind of personal to me, and I didn’t want him to think I was insane. I decided to play YOUTH by Troye Sivan, knowing it was the safe route.

I didn’t even start singing yet, and he was already freaking out. It made me laugh.

 

After some singing and many giggles, he busted out,

 

“I know Troye Sivan. Like, personally.”

 

“No way!” I gushed.

 

“Yes way! Oh my God you are too much-”

 

I shushed him suddenly. I heard footsteps in the hallway. I thought Tyler heard them too, because he stopped talking right after I shushed him. I tiptoed out into the hallway with Tyler trailing behind. 

 

Dan shut the door to Phil’s room. He whipped around. I guessed he could hear us breathing.

 

“Guys! What the hell?!” He said in a sharp whisper.

 

Tyler grabbed his wrist and pulled Dan into my room. I shut the door once both of them were inside.

 

“Spill.” Tyler demanded. I scooted next to him.

 

Dan looked reluctant to say anything, but he did.

 

“So Phil fell asleep next to me and it was cute so I didn’t move and then I thought that he wouldn’t like waking up next to me because he doesn’t like me like that and I like him like that and I don’t know what to do and-”

 

“Woah, honey. Let’s take a moment to breathe. In and out.” Tyler instructed. Dan only sighed.

 

“I really don’t know what to do Tyler. Help me. I don’t want to ruin our friendship. That’s my problem. I don’t want him to think I’m weird or something.” Dan sputtered out. He looked at me and smiled. I crawled over to him, and rested my head on his shoulder. I wasn't not much of a love doctor, but I knew just being there helped. He picked me up and put me on his lap. I smiled. I hadn’t been hugged that way in a long time.

 

The expression on Tyler’s face was priceless. I was the first to laugh. Then everyone chimed in after me.

 

“Okay, I’ve had enough for today. Bed time.” Dan yawned. I didn’t get up.

 

“You’re not getting up, are you?” Tyler grined.

I shook my head.

“Fine then.” Dan said flatly. He picked me up again, and sat me down on my bed. I giggled. I wrapped myself in the blanket. Dan messed up my hair.

“Goodnight Ella.” He whispered.

“Night.” Tyler said.

I smiled at the two as they shut the door. I immediately crawled to the window. I opened it slowly. I could feel the cold wind on my face. I loved the rush of the air. I stared up at the moon and the stars, and dreamed of space. 

 


	9. Went Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh I'm sorry for this crappy chapter but this story has to move along sooooo
> 
> Enjoy I guess

Phil’s POV

I was the last one to get up.  
How surprising.  
The flat was old. It creaked whenever you walked, and the paint was peeling of the walls. I could hear conversation from the other room.

“So I was like- oh, hi Phil!” Tyler said with a smile.  
“Hey guys,” I sighed.  
“PHILLLLLL!” Dan moaned from the kitchen.  
“Daddy’s calling,” Tyler cooed. Ella giggled.  
“TYLERRRRRRR!” Dan moaned. Again.  
“Coming!”

***

There was no pancake batter left at home, so I had to go to Tesco to get more. The way home was rainy and humid. I walked across the street. I noticed a car was speeding. I started running, hoping not to get hit.

Before I knew it, the lights of the car blinded my eyes. I covered my face with my arms, feeling the impact of the car hitting my body.

It all went black.


	10. Reading

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOYOYOYO IM BACK HAVE THIS MY CHILDREN WOOOOOO
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry for feels m8s

Ella’s pov

 

I saw it happen. I screamed at Phil to look. Phil couldn’t hear me. The car hit him. He fell. I screamed. 

 

“Ella?” I heard Dan say as he walked into the room. All I could do was point at the window. I could feel my hart become heavy, and I couldn't feel anything. He walked over to the window.

 

Silence. 

 

And then running. 

 

And then Tyler keeping me from running out the door with Dan. I fought Tyler so bad to get out of his arms. I threw my head back, hitting him in the nose. I dug my nails into his skin, trying to get him to let go. I bit his wrist. I screamed and kicked. He looked exhausted, but I couldn't stop.

 

***

 

Dan’s pov

 

By the time I got to where he was hit, he was gone. I asked a police officer where the ambulance went.

 

“Sorry kid. I’m not allowed to tell ya, unless you have some relation with him,” He said.

“Friend. Best friend now please tell me!”

 

**Lies.**

 

**I like him. A lot. More than that. But I’d never tell.**

 

“Fine. London Bridge hospital-”

 

“Thank you sir!” I called out.

 

= Time skip because I’m a bad writer RIP  =

 

I sat in the chair next to the bed that Phil laid in. He was unconscious. The doctors told me that there was a fifty percent chance he would live. Then there was the other fifty percent chance that he would die. It would all be luck.

 

Die. The word rang in my head. He could die. I never understood why people had to die. I never got that. I never wanted to, actually. I just didn't want to die. I didn't think anybody really did.

 

“Please don’t leave me. I’m sorry. I should've not let you go in the rain I should have been there. I’m sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry,” I pleaded to the unresponsive and lifeless body laying net to me.

  
  


***

 

Ella’s pov

 

Tyler went to heal himself. I told him I was really sorry. I didn't know what got into me. I was so mad at what had happened, that I let out my anger on him. He forgave me, but told me to go sit in the lounge intil Dan got home, if he was going to even come. The flat echoed and had a slight chill to it. My thoughts were toxic. I wanted to go away. I just wanted to be alone, but not like this. My tears flowed until I couldn't stop him. I didn't want him to die. 

 

I heard the door shut next to my. Tyler wasn't there. It was Dan. He looked broken and hurt. He threw his back against the wall, and cried.

 

_ I’ve only seen father like this. When mother died.  _

 

I ran to him. I threw my arms around his body, letting my tears be soaked up by his shirt.

 

_ Father didn’t let me near him when we got the news that mom died. Harper sobbed loudly, accompanied by a scream. Chris yelled and punched a wall. Olivia was silent. That’s when it all went wrong. _

 

Dan accepted the hug, and cried over my shoulder.

 

__ (new day)

 

Dan’s pov

Ella hadn’t spoken since it happened. She was still around, though. It was odd, how she always knew when I was crying or needed help. It was weird.    
That’s when I remembered the old diary. I ran to my room, and locked the door behind me.

 

The first few pages were mindless doodles of random things. There were dinosaurs, stick people, badly drawn unicorns, and other things along those lines. Until I found actual writing.

 

_ 4/15/xx _

_ Mother died. Father told us. He slid against the wall. Harper cried loudly and then screamed. Chris punched a wall. Olivia said nothing. _

 

_ 4/24/xx _

_ I have learned how my siblings mourn. Harper cries. She needs hugs to calm her down. Chris yells and gets angry. I tell him to stop. He only listens to me. At least I can contain him. Olivia does not speak, like father. She slowly declines, and now I must always know where she is and what she needs. I don’t feel like hiding anymore pill containers.  _

 

_ I haven’t figured out father. _

 

_ That’s okay. I cry. And have nightmares. Sometimes I can’t breathe. I panic. _

 

_ 5/28/xx _

_ Harper left for college as well as Chris. Olivia is still here. Father is not. Father has been gone. _

  
  


_ 6/8/xx _

_ Olivia is gone. Father hasn’t spoken. Ever. I hate it I hate him _

 

_ 9/27/xx _

 

_ The kids at school make fun of me. I hate it here.  _

 

_ 8/15/xx _

 

_ Would anyone care if I were dead?  _

 

That’s where it ended. I ran to her room and found her new diary.

 

**2/11**

**Phil is in hospital. Now it’s just Dan and I.**

**Dan is similar to Harper. He cries. A lot. And I’m always there. I keep watch over him like Olivia, just incase. The good news is, he still speaks. He won’t leave me to die. That’s good. I can’t have that again.**

 

I stopped reading.

**__**


	11. Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo yo wuddup  
> Guess who's sick? MEEEEEE be happy I'm writing because I'm coughing up my lungs  
> Enjoy!

Ella’s pov

Sometimes I can’t breathe. I feel like I’m being held by the neck. I forget how to breathe.

I couldn't see. Everything blurred into orange and black.

I wanted to run for my life, but I couldn’t. Because I couldn’t walk.

I got dizzy. I fell. I heard faint footsteps.

The ground was being pulled beneath me.

Not a nightmare.  
A panic attack.

__

Dan’s pov

She woke up sweating crying. She shuddered and shook her head, running her fingers through her head. 

“I-I want to see him. Please,” she told me. I didn't need her to tell me who "he" was.

We went the next day.

__

Phil’s pov

The first breath I took felt like a car hitting me.

Oh wait.

The hospital had that God awful smell. Then a nurse walked in. She hummed quietly to herself, until she saw my eyes open.  
“Oh! You’re awake! Goodness! Oh, they will be so happy to see you!”  
“Who is “they”?” I asked, confused  
“I’ll be back dear.”  
***  
Ella walked in first. I had never seen someone go from sad to happy so quickly. Her eyes were full or remorse and sadness, but then they lit up with every star in the night shy. She ran toward me with her arms open. She cried into my shoulder. "Please, don't do that again."


	12. Anouncements

Hey guys!

 

I'm at a writers block. I honestly have no idea what to write next. I don't want to abandon the series of course, seeing that you all enjoy it. So, I need help. What should I do? Write the ending? Keep going? Please help!

Spring break is next week for me! Yay! That means I'll have more time to post. So please, give me an answer!

AND one more announcement! I'll be doing a q&a! You can ask any question to me or to the characters in this series! I'll post them in the next chapter. I want to get at least five questions in total so I can post it.


	13. Livestream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO YO YO FIRST DAY OF SPRING BREAK WOOOOOOOO
> 
> I'll try to post everyday this week at 4:00 pm Eastern time (in America). I should be on time most days, except for Easter Sunday. I will post, just not at four. Just know that I have no idea if anyone has anything planned for 4, so i might not be on time. I really want to be, though.
> 
> I'll have a q&a going so post those questions. They can be to characters or to me
> 
> HAVE A SPECTACULAR DAY!

Dan's pov

Tyler had gone home after I told him Phil was okay. Ella had been happier, but something seemed off. Maybe it was because Phil wasn't home yet. Our fans have started a trending hashtag; #prayforphil. I streamed today, just as a short little update.

Ella had her toy ponies lined up in a row, with little skirts and dresses piled up. She was laying on her stomach while moving the ponies around.  
“Welcome to fashion week Manehattan! First designer, Rarity of Ponyville!” Ella said out loud.  
I wanted to just stand there and watch, but I had a stream to do. Plus she noticed me in the doorway.

“Hi Dan! Wanna come play? I'm doing a pony fashion show,” She smiled.  
“I can play later. I have to stream so everyone knows that Phil will be okay soon. Stay quiet, okay?”  
“Mhm.”

~~~~ (time skippy because I'm a bad writer)

The stream was going well. Everyone seemed happy to know that Phil was going to be dispatched soon. The stream want like any other stream, until I heard the soft strum of Ella's ukulele. It didn't seem like much of a problem, until the viewers heard it.  
“Dan what's that sound”  
“Is there anyone there”  
And similar questions. I ended the stream a minute or two later with a short goodbye. I walked into Ella's room to see her with her ukulele sat on her lap.  
“I could hear you from the other room,” I said to her.  
“Oh. I'm sorry I didn't mean to and and and-” she stuttered.

It boggled me how worked up she got over me just telling her that she needed to be a bit more quiet. She was on the verge of tears.

“It's okay, don't get worked up over it,” I said as I walked over to her.  
She leaned on my shoulder and closed her eyes.  
~~ (more time skipping)

I skipped through more pages of her old diary, just to see if I could uncover anything else.

9/6/xx

I don't like to hear them argue. Now I fear being yelled at or talked to sternly. Which kinda sucks, because all Chris ever does now is yell and argue. I stay inside my room where it's safe. I can't care for anyone else anymore. I can't do this forever.

9/10/xx

I've run away. I can't anymore. I can't stand the screaming. I can't stand caring for everyone. I can't stand the constant smell of cigarette smoke smeared on ash trays. So now I'm in my treehouse. I only leave for school and food. I sneak back to the house to make food and gather snacks. I don't think they even noticed that I was gone.

9/12/xx

A lady came by today. She had her hair tied in a bun, with a floral dress. She was smelling the flowers and dipping her toes in the stream. I guess she noticed me, because she motioned me to come to her. I did. She sat me down next to her. She looked at me carefully. I was wearing a pair of ripped jeans with my old shoes. I had a short sleeve shirt under my hoodie. She asked me if I had a home. I told her my whole story. It felt good to finally open up to somebody, even if I didn't know her. She offered to take me to her orphanage. I was unsure of how to reply. I wasn't sure if I trusted her completely, but I obliged. I love it at her orphanage. Nobody yells. Nobody is dead. Somebody finally loves me.

__


	14. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy I'm here have this
> 
> It's 80 degrees where I live and I'm currently dying help

Phil's pov

I got to go home today, which was great. The coma didn't last as long as expected; the doctors said it could've been months before I woke up. I heard a knock at the door. It was a nurse.

“Mr. Lester? Are you ready to leave? Somebody is here for you,” she said with a smile.  
“I'll be down in a second.”  
~~~ (just walking down stairs nothing special)

The hospital was rather cozy, to my surprise. There weren't too many people, and the nurses were nice. Most patients that were able to leave their beds stayed in the lobby. There was a pond outside where you could feed koi fish. I could see Dan and Ella on the other side of the lobby. Ella noticed me first. She tugged on Dan's shirt and pointed to me while jumping up and down. By the time Dan turned around, Ella was already running towards me. She jumped in my arms which made me stagger back, but I regained balance. I could hear her crying. Dan also came over, but after Ella let go. He hugged me as well, but longer. If that was even possible. It was nice. Nicer than it should've been.

I've had a crush on Dan for God knows how long now. One reason is that I'm scared. What if he didn't like me? What if he's straight? What if his parents are homophobic? What if what if what if… And then YouTube. Would we tell our fans? How would they react? Would they leave? Would they harass us? What about our friendship? I did't want to ruin that. 

“I'm glad you're okay,” I heard Dan say under his breath.  
“Yeah. Me too.” 

~~~~ (I think you know what this means at this point…)

I jumped onto my bed and shoved my face in a pillow. I was just so tired. I heard a knock at my door. It was Dan. 

“Ella wants you to put her to bed today,” he laughed.  
“Mhm”

I walked over to her room. She was sitting on her bed with ukulele in hand, singing.

“I'll be waiting for you until we meet again” she sang. Until she saw me standing at the door. She put the instrument down, and laid down on her small bed.  
I put the sheets up to her chin, like what my mum used to do with Martin and I.  
“Goodnight,” I smile.  
“Night night,” she giggled.  
~~

I heard a knock at my door. I lookd at the figure. Dan.  
“Phil?”  
“Mhm?”  
“I can't sleep,” he whispered like a child.  
“C’mere then,” I said to him.  
He snuggled up next to me and smiled. I knew he could sleep fine, but I didn't argue.

Honestly, I didn't mind.

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was hella gay


	15. Pancakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back and i know I'm kinda late 
> 
> Btw in every other fanfic I've read Pj caused problems but he won't in this one

Ella's pov

I woke up at eight thirty, but no one was awake. Dan's room was empty when I checked it. I took a glance into Phil's room, where both of them were sleeping soundly wrapped up in the comforter. I smiled to myself before leaving the room.

I walked over to the kitchen, and started to make breakfast. We had some pancake batter left over from the other time we had them. In the orphanage, I had to make breakfast, since everyone else had to go to school. I was home schooled. I knew I wouldn't be allowed back in my old school. I set the pancakes on the table, and waited.  
__

Dan's pov

I woke up next to Phil. Shit. There's was getting out of that. He woke up and looked down at me. His face went red. I didn't say anything, and he didn't either.

“Do you smell that?” He asked. I could hear the tired in his voice.  
“Smells like pancakes,” I replied.  
“She didn't make pancakes for us… does she even know how to use a stove?” Phil asked as he twirls his fingers around my already curly hair.  
“Well, she was the oldest, so maybe?” I replied.  
“C’mon. Let's go check,”  
~~~

“You did not make us pancakes.” I laughed.  
“Yeah I did!” She said proudly.  
All of us sat and ate the pancakes together. Once we were done, Ella asked me to talk to her. It seemed weird, but I went with it.  
“So, what did you want to talk about?”  
“Why won't you tell Phil you like him? I can tell he likes you,”  
“How can you tell?”  
“Have you seen how he looks at you? Please. You can't tell me he doesn't like you. Plus I saw both of you this morning.” She laughed.  
“Ugh. I'm just scared.”  
“Don't be. He really likes you, okay?” She smiled.  
My phone rang. It was from Pj. She motioned me out of the room so I could answer it.  
“Sup hoe.” I said to Peej. (Wtf I h e a r d h i s v o i c e.)  
“How did I know you were going to say that? Anyways, Chris and I are throwing a party. Wanna come?”  
“You know about Ella, right?”  
“Yeah. But Darcy’s going, so she won't be the only kid,”  
“Alright. We'll be there,” I said to him.  
“Great! It starts tomorrow at seven. See you then.”  
He hung up first. I guess she heard all of it go down, because she smiled brightly.  
“I can't wait to meet everyone!”  
__


	16. Letter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW IM LATE DONT KILL MEE
> 
> Ugh spring break is almost over and I iz sad.

Phil's pov

 

“Phil?” I heared Ella call from across the hall.

We were getting ready for Peej's party. We hadn't seen them in a while, because both of us were busy. Us with Ella, and Pj with work. I knew it would be fun for Ella if Darcy was around.

 

“Mhm?”

“Can you come here?” She asked me.

“Sit.” She demanded once I walked into the room.

“Alright,” I laughed. Dan looked into the room and smiled. 

Dan sat next to me on the floor. Ella started putting barrettes and bobby pins in our hair that messed with our fringes. We started to laugh and giggle.

“And there goes my straightened hair,” Dan laughed.

“I think you both look fabulous!” Ella giggled.

Dan rolled his eyes and laughed again.

“Well, I think we should keep them in,” I said to him.

“What? You think I would take them out?” He laughed again. God, I loved his laugh.

“We gotta go if we want to get there in time,” Dan sighed.

Ella hopped off the bed with a smile, and stood in front of us.

“My work here is done.” Ella said proudly while looking at our fringes.

__

 

Dan's pov 

 

Ella was already running around with Darcy playing hide and seek. Ella also “did” Darcy's hair, with Darcy returning the favor with them playing dress up. It was adorable, to say the least. The others looked confused with all the pins in our fringes, but laughed it off. Pj invited Chris, Louise, Tyler, Troye, Connor, Phil, and I. We were all having fun, until we played truth or dare.

“Phil. Truth or dare.” Chris asked.

“Dare.” 

“I dare you to do seven minutes in heaven with Dan.”

 

Okay, the problem with this was that Chris knew about my crush on Phil. All of them did. So, of course, he wanted me to do this. Phil was already in the closet waiting for me.

 

“C’mon Dan! You have to say it! Confess!” Peej whined.

“You have too honey. If I could do it, you could do it.” Tyler sighed.

I guess Ella heard the whole thing, because without making eye contact, she said,

“You can't keep this kind of secret forever. It'll hurt more if you don't say anything at all.” 

All of them looked surprised that a nine year old said that, since she, you know, put hot pink butterfly pins in our hair.

“Fine. But in the last minute.”

~~~

It wasn't as bad as I expected it to be, until Pj called for the last minute. But, I wasn't going to tell him. I planed on writing a note. It was easier to do, anyway. The letter said,

 

_ Dear Phil, _

 

_ I have to tell you this. I know it's kinda out of the blue, but take this seriously. I like you. As more than a friend. I have for a while, actually. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I was scared. If you don't feel the same, then ignore this ever happened. I don't want to lose you.  _

 

_ -Dan _

 

Connor opened the door. I threw the note at Phil, and ran to the emergency fire stairs outside. I didn't understand why I did what I did. 

 

**I questioned if he would like me. Who would?**

**__**


	17. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO YO YO GET READY FOR AN ARRAY OF GAY
> 
> I'm so sorry

Phil's pov

 

I really didn't know what to make of the letter. He threw it at me and ran. While everyone tried going after him, I read the letter silently to myself. I felt tears of relief form in my eyes. I could let the fear go. The fear that felt like waves coming over me that made me suffocate. They were gone. But Dan ran off. Because of fear. The same reason why I didn't tell him. I got up to go find him.

“Babe, what does that say?” Tyler asked with concern in his voice.

“Not important right now. Where's Dan?”

“Phil, we've looked everywhere. He's nowhere to be found,” Louise sighed in defeat. Ella tugged at my shirt.

“I know where he went.”

~~

“I've been observing Dan for a while now. Since you were gone. I was able to analyze his behavior and connect it to what best fits,” Ella said blankly. “When my mum died, I was the only one who didn't let it get to me as much. Of course I cried and grieved, but I knew how to handle myself. My sister Harper would cry. A lot. She usually went outside where it was quiet. Dan is the same. Both of them deny help or compassion. They run away, but will come back, if you can make them.”

 

It scared me how much she could gather just by observing everything around her. She already knew what made us laugh and smile. She knew how to cheer us up. She  _ knew. _

 

“Where would he be then?” I asked while in a daze.

“Emergency fire stairs.”

“Really?”

“Yup. When he was with me, he would lock himself in his room, go to the roof, or the emergency stairs. You can't get to the roof in this building, he doesn't have his own room here, so that goes out the window, so he's on the stairs.”

“Thank you,” I said as I hugged her.

“Don't do anything dumb,” she joked. I ruffled her hair.

 

That was it.

~~

He was sitting on the stairs with his face in his arms. Crying.

 

“Dan?” I said. He spiked up and looked at me. His eyes look tired and faded. 

“H-hi.” He stuttered.

“Okay. I already know you don't like me like that, but please don't leave me,” Dan cried. I turned his head to face mine.

“You’re so quick at coming to conclusions Dan,” I giggled.

“Wait. Does that mean you like me?” I could see his face light up.

“I've liked you for a while,” I could feel my face go red. He laughs.

“Can I kiss you? I know that questionis stupid but-”

Let's just say, I didn't let him finish that thought.

__


	18. Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spring break is almost over and I'm sad  
> I can't post as often and I have exams and essays and UUghUgggH pray for me  
> So my friend read the hat fic nd another one of my friends read the cherry fic rip
> 
> But enough about me dID YOU SEE THE PICTURE DAN POSTED OF HIM IN THE RIPPED JEANS I SAW IT AT SIX AM AND I ALMOST SCREAMED ETTTYHRDEYRTXUD

Dan’s pov

 

All of it took me aback for a few seconds. Phil. Liked. Me.  _ Phil  _ **_fucking_ ** _ Lester  _ liked me.

 

Everything felt right, for the moment.

“Wow,” I sighed.

“You should let people talk. Let them have a say in things,” He laughed.

“Everyone is going to flip out,” Phil added while looking up at the stars.

“Do you like the stars?” I asked to keep conversation.

“I want to go to space one day. Just to touch a star. I know I would die, but they’re so pretty,” Phil gushed.

“Like you,” I laughed. I reeeeally shouldn’t have done that, but the words already slipped out.

“The stars say you’re a gigantic dork who’s super cheesey,” He laughed. 

 

The silence was comfortable. It was soothing and calming. You could just melt into the night with the darkness with no fear of it hurting you. You have no fear because you trust it. Kind of like love. You trust it. You don’t fear the thought of love hurting you, yet it has full capability of doing so. But nonetheless, you accept it. You fear the dark when you’re little. You fear it hurting you. Like love. You shut it out. You definitely don’t need darkness forever, but it’s always there. Like love. It’s  _ always there.  _ I closed my eyes tight. Tight enough to where you see a mix of colors and shapes.

 

“What now then?” Phil asked.

“Hm?”

“Do we tell them? What about Ella? Or our parents?” Phil said, with paranoia in his voice.

“Calm down,” I said as I held his hand.

“Look at the stars and how they shine for you.”

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo im editing this chapter and I unknowingly added a coldplay lyric how did I not know what I did  
> -izzy 2017


	19. Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WUDDUP
> 
> Oki I know this is late and very short I'm currently at my grandma's house and trying to make small talk. Help.
> 
> bOi DID YOU SEE DANS NEW POST HE PAINTED HIS NAILS WITH gLitTeR nAiL poLisH I'm dead
> 
> If Phil posts anything like that I will be floating in different galaxies
> 
> ANYWAY, have a happy Easter!
> 
> (Or what I like to call it, FREE CHOCOLATE)

Phil’s pov

Everyone took the news well. Actually, that was an understatement. Tyler, Connor, and Troye “called it”. Peej, Chris, and Louise did a lot of screaming and jumping. We called our parents a bit after, and they were super cool with it, which was good.

But now we were home. Ella was in bed already; she fell asleep at the party. Dan was cuddled up next to me, wrapped in a blanket.

“So. What now?” Dan asked me.  
“I have no idea, to be completely honest,” I laughed.  
“Phil, will you do the honors to be my boyfriend?” Dan giggled.  
“No.” I joke. I heard him hiccup and murmur “okay” like he was about to cry.  
“Baby I was kidding!” I said with panic in my voice.   
“Don't joke like that!” He giggled.  
“Should we tell them?” I asked.  
“Them who?”  
“Our fans,”  
“Not yet. Let's give it time. Let's give us time.”  
__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow that was v cheesey


	20. New Era

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hOi!!  
> This is a thank you. To all of you, for reading this. Why you would want to, I have no idea. So thank you
> 
> SO
> 
> I have two quizzes, three tests, and an essay to do. Joy. Then the PARCC starts in May. Kill me. Due to all of that, there might not be a chapter every day. Please bare with me.

Dan’s pov

 

I decided to stream today with Phil to tell everyone that he was okay. We of course told them already, but a stream made it feel more, you know, confirmed. Phil and I started to stream at normal time, until Phil needed the bathroom, which left just me to handle the stream. Everything was going okay, until I heard Ella in the background.

 

_ “Cause I can't help falling in love with you”  _

 

They heard it too. I shrugged it off, thinking it wouldn't get any louder, until someone started to laugh. Really hard. They noticed that the laugh didn't sound like Phil’s. I told them I would be back in a second.

 

I walked into Ella’s room suddenly, which made both of them jump. All color drained from her face, and it looked like her pupils dilated. She looked  _ scared. _ Phil noticed too, and tried to calm her down. She looked like I was going to kill her.  I crouched down next to her and hugged her close. She cried into my shirt. Phil looked at me with a worried expression on his face.

 

“Ella what’s the matter?” I asked.

“I knew you were streaming, but I played anyway. I know I wasn’t supposed to, but I did anyway,” She cried.

“You know Phil and I love you, right? That we would forgive you no matter what you do, right?” I said to her. She didn’t respond.

 

Because she fell asleep.

 

I just hoped she heard me.

 

**** 

Phil’s pov

 

Ella was still on Dan’s lap when we went back to stream. 

 

We decided to tell everyone about Ella, seeing as we can’t keep that big of a secret forever. Ella was loving the attention, and Dan had never looked happier. Then the phan questions came rolling in. Dan and I looked at each other and nodded. I whispered to Ella about what we were going to do.

 

“Guys, Dan and I have to tell you something,” I said.

“Most of you know this already, but,” Dan smiled.

“PHAN IS REAL! THEY KISS AND EVERYTHING!” Ella yelled. Dan and I laugh really hard.

“Yeah. Phan is real now. Bye!” I said to the screen.

 

Now we started a new era.

__


	21. Q&A

Hi guys! 

I decided to do a Q&A! I want to at least get five questions, so keep em coming! Post them on this chapter please.

Here are your question options:

Dan:

Phil:

Ella:

Harper (Ella's oldest sister):

Chris (Ella's brother):

Olivia (Ella's youngest sister):

Ella's dad:

Ella's mom:

Chris:

Peej:

Louise:

Connor:

Troye:

Tyler:

Anastasia:

Milly:

Squirt:

Me:


	22. Q&A answers!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hullo!
> 
> I know i know you want more of the gay calm it. It will come. There might be a chapter tomorrow, but I can't promise anything
> 
> Now on to the questions!

Dan: do u love dragons more than Phil  -Emma_fandoms_forever

**I think you know my answer. Dragons. Just kidding. Phil is amazing and I love him more than dragons.**

Phil: which cereal does Dan get more mad about when you steal it XD  -Emma_fandoms_forever

**Dan Gets reeeeally mad when I steal Crunchy Nut. Sometimes he looks at me and prepares his plan to murder me.**

Ella: would you rather be in a DanandPhilGAMES video or a Dan and Phil CRAFTS video?  -Emma_fandoms_forever

**To be honest, I’m not very good at video games. I’m better at art stuff. And crafts are fun to do! I can make a paper snake!**

Peej: would you adopt Ella if Dan and Phil hadn't already  -Emma_fandoms_forever

**I’m sorry, but the answer to that is no. She is very sweet and adorable, but I don’t feel ready to raise another human being. I can hardly take care of myself!**

Tyler: would u ever dye your hair and Ella's hair matching colours  -Emma_fandoms_forever 

**That is an amazing idea I’m going to do it when I go over. What color though? Purple? I think a good pastel purple would look good on both of us.** _ (Jfc I can hear him saying that h e l p) _

You: would you rather be able to talk to everyone who's left kudos and comments on this fic and be really good friends with them, or never meet any of us but have the amount of kudos and comments doubled? -Emma_fandoms_forever

**I would kill to meet all of you! You all seem so nice and are so supportive of me. I’m sure we would all get along. It seems like we are all trash bins rolling our way through life. I thought that this fic wouldn’t get passed 100 hits, but it did. And I’m so grateful for that. Thank you. All of you.**

 

Ella _ wat is ur favourite animal and do u know twenty one pilots??? -Frick aka potato girl bella

**My favourite animal is a lion because Phil calls me little lion.** _ (welp)  _ **And yes! My favorite song is house of gold. It kinda hurt my hand after learning how to play it, but it was worth it!**


	23. Helps My doods

Hullo again! 

I KNOW THIS ISN'T A CHAPTER BUT I NEED HELP WITH QUESTIONS

I'm going to make a pinof chapter, so i need questions for that pinof (Ella involved!)

Thanks loves!


	24. PINOF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy!
> 
> I know this seems rushed. I know. I have to study but i want to do this and ughhhhhhhhhhhh
> 
> Btw there won't be anymore bad stuff just gay and fluff and more gay
> 
> Enjoy this crappy chapter!

Phil’s POV

 

Dan and I had decided to make a pinof. To explain everything. All of this. Her. Us. It would be us talking about it in the beginning, and then we’ll go on with the questions. 

 

“Little Lion? Bear? We need to start filming,” I yelled for them. I got no response.

I walked toward my bed, but I could feel something grab my ankle.

“Rawr!” I heard Ella giggle from under my bed. She popped her head out to look at me. Dan was leaning on the door frame, with a smile on his face. He walked over to me and ruffled my hair. 

“So, are we gonna start filming?” Ella asked.

“Mhm,”

“Hey guys! It’s us, and we have to tell you something. I’m sure all of you know already, but if you didn’t know, Dan and I are officially dating. We have also adopted a child, named Ella. Now let’s get on to the questions!” I exclaimed.

Ella drew the whiskers. They were a bit uneven, but they were never straight in the first place.

How much macaroni would you eat for a tenner

**“All the macaroni in the world,” Dan drooled**

**“What’s a tenner?” Ella asked.**

Would you ever consider bathing in antiseptic to see what would happen

**“If it’s anything like the lake near the orphanage, then no,” Ella stuck her tongue out.**

**“Nope. Not gonna risk dying,” I said.**

Would you rather paint your face purple or green

**“I’d rather paint my face green,” Dan laughed.**

**“I wanna be purple so I can be Barney the dinosaur!” Ella giggled.**

Would you rather have wings or be able to breathe f i r e

**“I’d much rather breathe fire! I could be a drago!”**

**“Wings for me. I imagine my tongue would burn,” I said to the camera.**

What is the most crazy thing you've ever done?

**“Oh oh! Once, I was dared to leap over the fire pit. My pants wound up catching fire,” Ella laughed.**

**“Pfft,” I giggled.**

Who's the maddest out of you three?

**“If by mad you mean full of energy, then Ella,” I said to the camera.**

Who wakes up first in the morning?

**“Phil so he can steal my cereal,” Dan whined.**

Recently watched anime?

**“Attack on Titan season two! But Ella isn’t in the room,” I said.**

Goals for the future as a family?

**“Shebe.”**

are phan in any way good at embarrassing you in public n stuff

 

**“It’s funny when people go up to them and then tell me I’m cute,” Ella looked down at the floor.**

 

If you had to turn one celebrity into a duck, which one would you choose?

**“Zac Efron. I don’t know why,” Dan laughed.**


	25. Park

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> howdy have this fluffffff
> 
> Dan and Phil MOVED i'm sh00k 
> 
> I'm happy for them, though. This story still takes place in the London apartment
> 
> Yo yo wanna stalk me? NOW YOU CANNNNNN
> 
> Instagram: MyTwistedPhansty
> 
> Phandom Amino: Phil's Eyelash (There are other people named Phil's Eyelash. I'm on level ten.)
> 
> Enjoy!

Phil’s pov

I sat on the park bench, while Dan and Ella ran around on the jungle gym. We walked to the park and had been there for about an hour. Ella was always stock full of energy, and I wasn't surprised a bit by that. She was running around since we stepped foot in the park. I was out of breath, so I was just sitting, drinking one of the three bottles of water we brought with us. Dan’s was already empty.  
I got up again to play with the both of them. I heard a yelp come from the other direction. Ella was sitting on the concrete, with her hands cupping her knee. Dan got to her before I did.

“Are you okay?” Dan asked. I could hear how worried he was.  
“What should I do?” I asked.  
“Get my water and give it to me please,” Ella directed before Dan could get a word out of his mouth. She sounded calm, considering the fact that her knee was scraped pretty bad, but she was crying a bit.  
I gave the water to her. She poured half of it on the scrape. She winced. She took off her shoe. She took off her sock quickly, and then wrapped the sock around her knee, covering the scrape. Dan helped her up.  
“You’re not walking home,” Dan insisted.  
“I can walk, just, you know, with a limp,” Ella chuckled.  
“Nope. You are not walking,” Dan protested.  
“Then how are we going to get home then?” I asked.

**

Ella was piggyback riding on Dan’s back. She didn’t seem to mind. We told jokes on the way home.  
We walked into the apartment. Dan put her on the bathroom counter.  
“I got it,” I insisted. Dan kissed my forehead and left the room.  
I ran cold water over the scrape. She winced again.”I got the soap,” She said.  
She cleaned the wound pretty well, by my surprise. She made it seem like she had done it before. Something about the way her eyes looked made me wonder how many times she had to do this. I tried not to overthink it, or ask questions. I dried it, and put a band aid on.  
“Thank you,” Ella smiled. She placed a kiss on my forehead.

__


	26. Tap Dancing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo I'm back
> 
> Sorry for this super short chapter
> 
> anyway rip Dani snot on fire
> 
> You will be missed

Ella's pov

 

“No! Like this,” I giggled.

“How do you  _ do _ that?” Phil asked, surprised.

“Easy! Step ball change isn't  _ that _ hard. You sweep your right leg. Then you step with the left leg, then going down on the right,” I directed.

Phil's socks slid on the hardwood floor. He hit the floor with a thud.

“Graceful,” Dan let out a laugh.

“What? Like you could do it,” Phil moaned from the floor.

“Try me,” Dan challenged.

Both of them tried to follow my moves. Let's just say, it didn't end too well. Both of them were on the floor by the end of it, in pain. I gave them credit for trying, though. Tap still isn't an easy thing to learn.

**

I was squished in the middle of both of them on the couch. Dan had his head resting on Phil’s shoulder. Fairy Tail was on.

“How did you do it?” Dan asked me.

“Simple. I don't wear socks on a hardwood floor while tap dancing.”


	27. Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo yo have some angst
> 
> iz oki there will be more fluff later calm yo selves.  
> Maybe another chapter of fluff today? Yes. 
> 
> This chapter is sad. What's ironic is that I was listening to nine in the afternoon a rather happy song for a sad chapter
> 
> QUESTION: How did you find this fic, anyway?
> 
> Enjoy!

Ella’s POV

“Goodnight,” Phil said as he turned off the light.

===

_Gotcha!_

**Ah, so you did.**

===

_Ew! Worms!_

**Ah, Ella. You mustn’t be so quick to judge.**

===

**Please, do not cry over me.**

_Mom.. plea s e_

===

~~_It is like you don’t care! Do you? Well? Answer me you- you- fuck, Ella. Please don’t-_ ~~

===

_Why doesn’t daddy come home?_

~~Don’t worry. He will. Just not now.~~

===

_Don’t. Please, Olivia. Please don’t. Drop the bottle. Please. For me, at least._

===

_Do not cry._

**Ella, the girl who can feel no more.**

===

_Hey? Are you alright?_

**_They- she- I- I can’t-_ **

_Clam down, breathe-_

**_No! I can’t! I won’t! He’s dead! Fuck, Philip why? Why couldn’t it have been me?_ **

_Eliza, calm down, please-_

===

_Please don’t cry,_

**_It’s too loud I don’t like it_ **

_Just think of happy things._

===

_What?_

**_You seem so, I don’t know, shallow? It’s like you don’t really understand._ **

===

**_Are you alright?_ **

_I can’t stop thinking. I can’t stop I want to stop I need everything to stop I want to just stop._

===

**_Can you hear me?! Please answer!_ **

_I  ca n” t  br e ath e_

===

_Smells like mom_

_===_

 

**_I can’t make her stop crying! She just won’t stop!_ **

She doesn’t know when it is too much. She’s hurting herself, but she will not admit it… 

===

**El l a, t he giRL wh o cAn fe el n o mor e**

===

I sprang up out of my bed, heaving, with my hand on my chest. I was crying. Heavy. Dan peeked in, and ran toward me. He wrapped he arms around me. I threw him off my body, not wanting to be seen or touched. He stumbled back and fell onto the floor. He just looked up at me in amazement. I diverted my eyes to my knees, which were curled up against my chest. I spent a few more moments trying to calm myself down. When I did, Dan was the first to speak.

"Do you want me to be here right now?" 

I shook my head. He nodded, said goodnight, and shut the door.


	28. Princess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have fluff

Dan’s pov

I closed the door to Ella's room softly. I had never seen anyone react like that. I knew she had a nightmare, but I didn't think that she would shove me to the floor. I still felt the pressure on my skin from her pushing me. I trudged back to my room. It wasn't long before I heard a knock at the door. Ella opened it up slowly. 

"You don't need to say anything. Just come here," I told her. She shook her head. "You want me to go to your room?" She nodded in agreement.

I got up from my bed, and made my way to her room. Once we were both settled, she fell asleep. The skin under her eyes were dark, and wet. She looked so tired.

****  
The sun leaked in through the windows in her room. Ella looked up at me. She smiled.  
I heard coughing coming from Phil’s room. I walked into his room, Ella trailing not so far behind. He was wrapped in a blanket.  
“Phil, I think you’re sick,” I said to him.  
“Nah,” He coughed again.  
I walked over to him, and moved him over. I climbed in next to him. He buried his face in my neck. I rested my head on his and smiled. Ella walked in the room. Phil motioned for her to come, and she complied. The dark circles around her eyes looked worse in the light, and her face was still a bit red.  She snuggled up next to him and smiled.  
Ella started fiddling with Phil’s hair.  
“What are you doing?” He laughed.  
“You’ll see,”  
Ella made a small braid in Phil's hair. It was really small, but she seemed proud nonetheless.  
“Ta da!” Ella giggled.  
“You’d make a good princess,” I laughed.


	29. Purple Hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you never asked but you know you wanted it
> 
> You can stalk my wattpad too: -shiptheuniverse-
> 
> Also: How did you find this story?
> 
> Enjoy!

Tyler’s pov (OHH WE BE SWITCHING IT UPPPPPPP)

 

“She should at least be in bed by nine-thirty, okay?” Dan pirsisted, a nervous wreck.

“Don’t worry, Dan! We got this,” Troye smiled. (yes him too.)

“We have our numbers on the kitchen table,” Phil added.

“Guys! We’ll be fine,” I laughed.

“Bye!” Ella called out to the two boys at the doorway. She gave them both long hugs. I smiled at how much she loved them. This was the first time she had been without both of them.

Both of them thanked us and strolled out of the flat. Ella looked at us both and smiled. Her face was bright.

“So, what are we going to do?” Ella smiled.

“Dye your hair purple!” Troye laughed.

“Really? Cool!” She giggled.

-

“Wait don’t put it on your!-” I yelled.

Troye had already smeared the dye all over his hands.

“Hands.”

“Oops,” Troye smiled.

“Okay, now go wash your hair,” I instructed Ella to do.

She did as told. Troye and I walk out of the bathroom so she could shower.

“Uh, what do you have in that bag?” Troye asked.

I pull out a pastel blue jumper and a pastel pink skirt, along with a pastel pink flower crown.

-

“Oh. My. God. You look adorable!” Dan yelled.

“Woah. Purple hair,” Phil smiled.

“Think we did good?” I asked Troye.

“Definitely.”


	30. Loud Noises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello im alive  
> sorry for lack of update  
> i fell behind in school with state testing, exams, etc  
> sorry for making you all wait this long

Phil’s pov  
“Can I? Please?” Ella begged me.  
She finally learned how to braid hair, but she already braided all of her ponies hair, so she wanted to braid my hair.  
“Okay, but I don’t know how much you can-”  
She wrapped me in a tight hug, and got started right away. I laughed at how hard she tries to braid my hair. There wasn't much hair to braid after all.  
Dan strolled in the room and smiled.  
“Someone’s here to see you,” Dan cooed.  
“Who? Who?” She jumped excitedly.  
Darcy ran into the room, with Louise following from behind. They imideiately started pulling out dresses to wear to play princess.  
+++  
We all sat outside of the room listening in on the kids' conversation.  
“I feel pretty,” Darcy cooed.  
“Mhm!”  
“Ohh, who’s that?” Darcy asked. She pointed at a Polaroid picture. The picture was of a bunch of girls dressed in costumes, for what I could guess was for Halloween.   
“Oh. My friend Eliza. Well, here real name is Elizabeth, but I call her Eliza.”  
“What’s that thing on her face?” Darcy asked.  
“A bruise.”  
“Are all of them your friends?”  
“Yes. I miss them a lot,"

"Which one is you?"

"I was Wonder Woman!"

"oooooooo!"  
“Nevermind, let’s play!”  
The two girls ran around and played like normal kids.   
++  
She fell asleep in my arms that night curled in ball. It was thundering outside, with wind blowing hard. The wind whistled and rattled the trees. The rain pattered down heavily, with thunder blaring. The bright flashes of lightning could blind someone. She was shaking, curled up in a ball next to me. She didn't want to be alone. 


	31. Dads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo wuddup
> 
> thankfully, school is almost over! so more chapters might arrive. do you guys want me to drag this out with fluff and angst? or should I end it soon? Please tell meeeee
> 
> Also here's my wattpad if you wanna look at it: https://www.wattpad.com/user/-shiptheuniverse-  
> Enjoy!

Dan’s pov

 

I opened my inbox to see an email from a convention site. They invited Phil and I to a convention in New York. I got up to go tell Phil and Ella. Ella was curled up in a ball on Phil’s lap, asleep. Phil had his arm around her. He smiled at me and let out a tiny laugh. I motioned him to scoot over. I went down next to them. I rested my head on his shoulder.

“We were invited to a con in New York,” I whispered.

“We can go, but what about Ella?” Phil asked.

“She’ll go with us,” I replied.

“Kay,” he said as he kissed my forehead. **(Wow that’s the second kiss you’ve gotten in this whole fic  w o w z a)**

Ella fidgeted awake. Her bright eyes glimmered with exhaustion. It seemed like she hadn’t slept in ages, although she had just taken a nap. She rubbed her eyes.

“Morning dads,” she yawned. Phil’s jaw dropped. I fell out of the bed with a thunk.

“Ow,” I moaned. Ella giggled.

“Y-you called us… dads?” Phil asked, his jaw still wide open.

“Mhm. I won’t if you don’t want me to,” She sighed.

I quickly sprang up and sat on the bed.

“No no no. Call us that. If you want to,” I smiled.

We both wrapped her in a hug. She smiled.

“Love you dads,” She giggled.

“Love you too,” Phil and I said at the same time.

 

 


	32. Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys gals and non-binary pals  
> I have more fluff and angst for you 
> 
> enjoyyyyyyyy

 

Phil’s pov

 

She ran around the oak tree with glee, and her smile was as bright as the sun. She laughed and giggled as Dan chased her around the tree. I sprang in and picked her up. She let out a small and playful yelp.

“Okay, so why did you drag us into the woods to see a tree?” I joked around. She pointed up.There was a giant treehouse that looked like it was almost falling apart. It was painted a nice pink hue that was a bit faded. The window frames were a nice shade of purple. She motioned for me to put her down. She peeked around the bushes to reveal a box full of gloves that had a grip on the bottom.

“What are those for?” I asked.

“To climb the tree, silly!” She giggled.

“Wait. So you’re telling me that you, a tiny child, are going to climb that tree to get to that?” Dan asked cautiously.

“Yup!” She smiled. Dan griped my hand and squeezed it. He was afraid.

She put the gloves on her tiny hands and started to climb. Her small hands gripped parts of the bark, as id]f she knew where to put her hands and feet. She got to the top, and let down a rope ladder.

“We. Have to climb that?” Dan asked, scared.

“Yeah. You’ll be fine though.”

I went up first, with Dan staggering behind.

The treehouse was amazing. It had a bookshelf full of books, ranging from _Charlotte’s Web_ to _The Fault in Our Stars_. There were bean bags spread all over the floor, with a purple flower rug in the center of the room. There was a cabinet with makeup inside, with a mirror looming above it. Dolls and doll clothes were in a box in the corner of the room, with bottled water, crackers, and a first aid kit next to it.

“This is my dream put into a reality,” Dan whispered. I chuckled.

“This is where me and all of the other girls from the orphanage came to play and hang out. Really though, it’s mine. I would run away here all the time. I just showed them it and it became everyone’s,” She sighed.

“Were there any boys at the orphanage?” I asked.

“ _Were_ is the major word there. They got adopted more than the girls did. They were younger, to begin with, and they didn’t, you know, have something wrong with them in the head,” Ella whispered.

“What do you mean, “wrong in the head”?” Dan asked.

“Example, Squirt. She lived in a not too safe community. She’s scared of really loud noises and screaming. Poor girl. She’s seen some things,” Ella sighed. “They are all mentally not okay, they are afraid of a lot,” She frowned.

“Oh, sorry I asked,” Dan whispered.

“No problem. Wait, I forgot to show you the best part! And it’s the perfect time!” She said with excitement.

She grabbed our hands and took us outside. There was a balcony. A tiny one, but still. She pointed to the sky. The stars glistened and gleamed with the reflection of the moonlight. You can see all of the stars perfectly. Dan looked in awe while Ella smiled, with the light breeze blowing her hair back.

“It’s beautiful,” I gleamed. I placed a kiss on the top of her head. Dan pulled her into a hug.

“I’m glad you showed us this,” I said to her.

“I’m glad dad let me climb up here in the first place,” She giggled as she looked up at Dan.

“You’re wonderful, little lion.”

__


	33. Foundation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hullo
> 
> yes two chapters in a row whoop  
> I'm listening to "for him." by Troye Sivan and I am having the time of my life  
> I made a new fic called Spotlight and Lowlight. Please check it out!  
> Enjoy!

Louise’s pov (changing it up againnnnn)

I walked into their apartment, makeup bag in hand. I was greeted with a happy Ella running up the stairs to get her dad. Dn texted me the whole “dad story” as he liked to call it. The two guys came down the stairs and invited me in. Their house always smelt like some kind of candle; usually vanilla. The four of us sat on the couch, and I set my makeup bag down on the tables.

“Okay, so the plan is for you two to put makeup on us,” Dan directed.

“Me too? I get to be in the video?” Ella asked, excitedly.

“Mhm. And you get to do Phil’s makeup,” Dan chuckled. Phil gave her a forced smile, while looking at me with anger.

“I’m gonna press record, okay?” Phil told us. We all nodded.

“Hello internet!”

“Hi guys!”

“Hello sprinklerinos!”

+++

“What’s this called?” Ella asked me as she held up a bottle with a skin tone similar to Phil’s.

“Foundation,” I replied.

Dan’s face, the one I was doing, looked okay. The foundation I used was a bit lighter than he was, but it was the only thing I had. Ella’s makeup job on Phil wasn’t that bad. She could blend well, but eyeliner was a problem. It wasn’t a perfect cat eye, but it was decent. There were other problems, like using pink eyeshadow as blush. Phil laughed all through it though, so it wasn’t that bad.

“I’m done!” I laughed.

“Me too!” Ella smiled.

The two boys looked at each other and laughed.

“You actually don’t look too bad,” Dan chuckled.

“Hay!” Ella laughed. “It could be worse!”

“You look good in makeup,” Phil commented.

I smiled at them. Such fond boyfriends.

We did the endcard. The two boys left to go wash off all the makeup on their faces. Ella looked at me and smiled.

“Do you like living here? With them, I mean,” I asked her.

“Yeah! It’s tons of fun,” She giggled.

“Wanna see something cool?” She asked me.

“Alright,” I complied.

She ran to her room. I followed not too far behind. She pulled out a ukulele from under her bed. She motioned me to follow her once more. We went to the bathroom the boys were in. She started to strum the tune to _Thinking Out Loud_ by Ed Sheeran. She sang the lyrics softly.

“Ella? Is that you again?” I heard Dan groan from the bathroom.

“C’mon, you know the lyrics, and dad does too! So sing,” She demanded sweetly.

The three of them sang the song all the way through, with me joining after the first verse.

_“And we found love right where we are.”_

___


	34. Like Me!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooooooooo  
> I'm listening to hold it against me by britney spears and jamming o u t  
> Enjoy my little macaroons!

Ella’s pov

 

“What’s a convention?” I asked Phil, who was busy getting two suitcases out of a closet, along with a duffel bag and a backpack.

“It’s a place where you go to meet other people who like the same things as you,” Phil explained.

“So we’re going to that?” I asked again.

“Uh huh. But we’ll be staying at a hotel in New Jersey,” Phil replied.

New Jersey was where Harper was. She was at school there. I thought about the chances of being able to see her. I shook my head, knowing that what I secretly wished for would never happen. I didn’t think she even remembered who I was. I thought she hated me for running away like a coward from my “dad”. For letting Olivia get away. I thought she must have hated me. I erased the thought from my head. I tried not to care, and to keep a neutral expression on my face, but feelings like that are hard to hide.

“This is for you to put your stuff in,” Phil interrupted my thoughts.

“The duffel bag as well?” I asked. He nodded.

“We leave tomorrow,” Phil said.

“Phil’s not good at planning,” Dan laughed from the other room.

“Says the person who sprayed himself in the eye with deodorant because he didn’t pack!” Phil shouted back.

“No don’t yell at him!” I screamed. I hated the though of yelling, let alone it actually happening. “Dad” would yell at me all the time. I hated him. I hated loud noises. I knew he couldn’t hurt me, but I was still anxious.

“No, little lion, it was a joke. I’m not mad at him,” Phil said as he picked me up.

“‘Kay,” I sighed,

“Now, go get packed,” He said as he put me down. He kissed the top of my head. I smiled. Mom used to do that. Actually, that was the last thing she did before she….

I shook my head hard, thinking that the words would fall out of my ears. I trotted upstairs to get packed. I knew we were staying for a week. It was summer, so what were summers like in New Jersey? I popped my head into Dan’s room.

“What will the weather be like?” I asked. He looked at his phone.

“Pack short sleeve and shorts. It’s gonna be in the eighties and nineties,” Dan grumbled.

“Is that a bad thing?” I asked.

“Well, it’s gonna be hot,” Dan moaned.

“Like me!” Phil added as he popped his head in the room. I giggled. Dan rolled his eyes.

“You love me,” Phil chuckled.

“I do,” Dan sighed.

“Me too! Both of you!” I laughed. Dan looked like he was about to faint. Phil lost all color in his face. I just smiled and skipped out of the room, giving them both kisses before walking out. I never knew the full extent of my words when it came to them. 

My window was wide open, with a bird on top of the roof of another building. It made me smile. I layed both bags on the bed. My diary fell on the floor. It was a spiral one, with the front and back being cardboard. The pen was a blue ostrich with a derpy look on its face. The head clicked to make the pen come out. It was my favorite pen. I picked it up and placed it down on the bed. That, I knew, was definitely coming with me. I opened the drawers and pulled out underwear and one training bra, since I only own one white one, anyway. I opened the other one and got out three pairs of socks. I grabbed my sneakers and put them by the door for the next day. I put a pair of sandals on the bed to pack. I picked out one dress that is really for the beach, but I packed it anyway. I picked out some shorts, pajamas, and a couple of shirts. I grabbed a tiny bag and make my way to the bathroom. I put my toothbrush and paste in the bag, along with my hair brush.

I put everything in the bags, and put them by the door. I called to my dads that I was done packing. They double checked my bags, and both of them put me to bed. Dan kissed me goodnight, and walked out. Phil sat at the edge of my bed and told me that we would have to get up at five in the morning to get to the airport by six.

“Oh, and remember that I would never yell at Dan for something like that,” Phil smiled at me. I only nodded.

He kissed my forehead and said goodnight. I smiled. I did’t understand why I was still scared. I hated it. But I loved it at that house. I loved them. My dads.

 

Yeah.

_They can’t be mad at each other, right?_


	35. Don't forget that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haiii
> 
> so i am giving you fluff and angst good luck
> 
> It was kinda hard to write since my playlist went from Schuyler sisters to addict with a pen  
> enjoy!

?¡¿??! Pov

 

_Ella. No, honey. Don’t listen to them fight. You don’t want a repeat of last time, right? Remember, block it out and hold you family close. You are the backbone. You must provide. Even if it means stealing paper towels from the 7-11. To feed your sisters. Okay? And remember not to get too attached. You will move later. Ella! Stop warming up to them! Don’t you understand? They don’t need you! They never did! They’re just another temporary home! Run! Go! Or do you want to die! Run! Go! Get your sisters! Run with them, run away! Unless you want them to die. And when they do, it’ll be your fault!_

____

Dan’s pov

I heard a scream from Ella’s room. Phil and I jolted up and ran into her room. She was a mess of tears, with the sheets hanging off the bed. He looked up at us. She didn’t open her mouth, but her eyes said it all. She backed up to the corner of her bed, and quivered in fear.

“D-don’t g-g-get any closer. I- I’ll h-hit y-you!” She threatened. She had her hands wrapped up in the sheets. Phil inched closer, but I stopped him. She was so afraid. We stood there awkwardly, waiting for her to let her guard down. Her shoulders started to shake, and then she collapsed on the bed, crying heavily. She screamed names of people I didn’t know, accompanied by a series of "I'm sorry" and "please forgive me". I got closer to her, and Phil followed. She looked up at the two of us, and fell into my shirt. She cried and cried and cried, while Phil rubbed his hand on her back. I kept her close to me, letting her wet my shirt. She looked up at me.

“I couldn’t help them,” She stuttered.

“Help who?” Phil asked before I could.

“Them. Who’s left at the orphanage. I-I couldn’t help them w-with their minds. T-They would bite and kick and cry and some were too quiet and some hurt themselves on purpose and I couldn’t save them, dad! I just, I promised that I would help them! But I failed! They all move from house to house while their parent are in court and no one will want to adopt them because of their problems! No one wants them. And I hate that I made that stupid promise,” She yelped.

“You can’t help everyone you meet, Ella. You need to learn how to let go,” Phil said. Her grip on me tightens.

“They don’t deserve it! Their parents do drugs and drink and hurt them and it’s not their faults!” She cried.

“They will find a home, and I can promise you that. And hey, you’re here with us. And we love you, right?” I asked. She nodded.

“And all of your friends will find homes too.” Phil reassured her.

“I don’t wanna let go,” She whispered.

“Then I won’t leave,” I whispered back. I nodded at Phil, as if I was telling him to go back to bed. He mouthed “are you sure?” and I nodded in responce. He walked out, and I picked her up, making sure not to move her. I leaned against the wall. I sang and twirled her hair around my finger until she fell asleep.

“I love you. Don’t forget that,” I whispered in her ear. She stopped crying. 

___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> b o i as I'm editing this i'm crying like this is m y fic why you crying boo  
> -izzy 2017


	36. Plane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hulloooooo  
> okay yeah this chapter is kinda boring but whatever  
> ****QUESTION! HOW DID YOU GUYS FIND THIS STORY???****  
> Enjoy!

Ella´s pov

I woke up in Dan’s lap, with his finger twirled around my hair. He was still asleep. I nuzzled my face in his shirt, that was still a bit wet because of me. I fell apart then. I didn't mean to, it just happened. My dreams don't like me and I don't like my dreams. They weren't really dreams. They were more of twisted realities. They weren't, what you would call a nightmare. I didn’t think that he would actually stay. I didn’t think he cared that much. But that didn’t matter. I looked over at the clock. I flashed 4:00 a.m. We had to start getting up. I nudged Dan with my hand, trying to get him to wake up. His eyes were sleepy, and he had bags under his eyes. His eyelids were barely open. He looked down at me and smiled. He twirled his finger around my hair.  
“It’s time to get up,” I whispered. He groaned.  
“You okay? Can I go?” He asked. I nodded in response. He picked me up and plopped me down on the bed. He walked out, and then Phil walked in. He sat next to me, and kissed my forehead.  
“Morning,” I said, groggily.  
“Are you okay?” Phil asked. I nodded.  
“Okay. We need to be out and in the airport by five-thirty. So get ready,” Phil told me. I nodded.  
I walked to the drawers, and pull out tights, jean shorts, a short sleeve shirt, and a hoodie. So if it’s chilly in Jersey, which is where we were staying and then driving to New York, I have tights, and if it’s hot, I can take off the tights and wear the shorts. Once I was ready to go, my dads were already at the door, packing up. They smiled at me, and we went out the door.  
+++++  
Some people knew who we were! They were two nice girls, who were on their way to the same convention. They both said goodbye, and that they’d see us there. We boarded the plane. I got the window seat. I pulled a book out of my bag. If we’re going to be on a plane for about eight hours, I wanted to be entertained. At least there are those TV chairs to look at.  
+++++  
I ran into the room and flopped on the bed. Dads did the same. We were all so tired.  
“I think I’m just gonna sleep,” Phil yawned. Dan was already asleep, and my eyes were closing.  
“Goodnight.”  
___


	37. Convention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well howdy there  
> Have a super long chapter because you deserve it  
> remember to be happy  
> Enjoy!

 

Dan’s pov

 

We stepped out of the hotel after eleven. All of us slept in really late, and the jet lag didn’t help the situation. We all got ready to get on a train that went straight to New York. The subway was crowded with people who needed to get to work. They didn’t seem too agitated. One guy came up to us and introduced himself with a nice handshake. He said that his daughter watched our videos. We took a selfie with the guy and he thanked us again. Ella hid behind Phil the entire time, being sure she wasn’t seen by the man. The man thanked us again, and walked away. Before he did, though, he asked us if we needed to get to Time Square. We both nodded, and he directed us where the train was and when it was coming. He left, and Phil looked down at Ella, who was hiding behind him. Her face was stained with tears.

 

“T-that was my dad,”

+++++++

 

After calming Ella down, we got to Time Square. It was super big, with flashing lights everywhere. Ella seemed amazed by the flashing lights, but it was something Phil and I had seen before. We went to the building the convention was being held at. A guy who I assumed worked there, motioned us to where the creators went in. We had a tiny room, with a couch, refrigerator, and a mirror. Our first panel was at twelve, and it was already eleven forty-five. We brought water bottles with us, and went to the panel.  Troye, Tyler, Chris, and Peej were there as well. We answered some questions, played the seven second challenge, and did a quick skit. They even asked Ella questions, which she was more than happy to answer. As the panel ended, people came up for us to sign things. After that, we headed back to the “room”.

+++++++

 

????? pov

 

I didn’t think I’d find them today.

Yet here I was. Staring at her. She looked better than she did before; she looks well fed and clean. She was wearing a pink shirt and a pair of jean shorts that needed a replacement, but weren’t too bad. Her hair wasn’t greasy, and she was holding their hands. I was right. It was them.

 

 

_They have my sister._

++++++

 

Ella’s pov

 

 

Harper was standing right in front of me. Her eyes were bright and happy, yet tear stained. I looked up at my dads, who had a face of confusion. I stuttered out the words “she is my sister,”. Phil said nothing, and let go of my hand. I ran right into her arms. She smelled like the beach, especially like the salty sea. She cried over my shoulder. I didn’t think she’d let go. Once she did, Phil asked if she wanted to go somewhere more private. Harper nodded, and didn’t talk until we got to the room. She wrapped me in another hug, and then looked at my face.

 

“Where did you go? Oh my god, I was so scared you died or something, just like your sister,” She smacked her mouth shut after she said “your sister”. Dan and Phil just sat on the couch, passing notes to each other.

“She. She’s dead?” I stuttered.

“She died a while ago. She didn’t kill herself, I swear. She got sick, like mom. I had to turn off the life support,” She said, coldly.

“Why did you leave? Where did you go?” She asked.

“I went to an orphanage near by. I left because of dad,” I said, and grunted.

“Dad was so worried about you. He was so scared. He really cares about you.” She asked. My face lost color. I didn't think she understood the extent to how much I absolutely hated that man. He was ignorant and a coward.

“Dad cared about me? Well, he certainly didn’t have a good way of showing it! He would go out and get drunk and stuff! **I** had to make dinner. **I** had to take his credit card to keep myself alive. **I** had to make sure Olivia didn’t kill herself, Harper! After you and Chris left, **I** had to do everything myself! And you know what? If he really cared about me, then he would stop drinking, and provide for his children!” I yelled at her. She was taken aback for a minute or two.

“Wow. I didn’t know, why didn’t you call?” She asked.

“I couldn’t. I didn’t want to get hit with a bottle again,” I whispered. Her mouth quivered.

“It’s just, he always is missing you and tried to find you and that he cared about you,” Harper said.

“Is he still an airhead?” I asked.

“Well, I’m never home long. So I don’t know,” Harper mummered.

“Even if he isn’t, I’m not leaving. I’m not going back,” I said. Harper’s face dropped.

“That’s. Fine, but I still love you. And Chris does too,” She cried.

“No no no, I never meant I didn’t love you, it’s that I don’t feel safe around him. And I’m happy here. I really am. I love my dads, and I love my new life.”

“I know. You looked so happy in those videos, and I don’t want to ruin that,” Harper complied.

My dads walked over to her. She hugged them both.

“Thank you for taking care of my sister. She really cares about you two,” Harper said.

“Phil and I were talking, and we decided that when we have something to go to, you could babysit? So she won’t be in the flat alone if we’re gone,” Phil offered.

“I’d love to, but I’m not in London, at the moment. I need to finish up college. It’s my last year. I just have a few days before it’s over, so I can come back. My brother Chris is at Oxford Uni, so he could babysit. My dad has been talking about moving into somewhere smaller, so I could live in his house,” Harper explained.

“That would be great. I hope we don’t make you and her awkward,” Dan joked.

“It’s not a problem with me!” Her phone beeped. “Well, I gotta go. Thank you both so much for loving my sister. Take good care of her,” She said. They noded.

She hugged me tight, and whispered in my ear,

“You are an Olson, okay? Remember that,” She kissed my cheek. She waved goodbye, and walked out.

+++++++

Back at the hotel room, my dads were asleep, but there was a space in the middle of them. I wedge myself between them. They open their eyes, and then flash me a quick smile. As the TV plays _Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown_ , and as my eyes began to close, Harper’s words replayed in my head.

_“You are an Olson, okay? Remember that.”_

______


	38. Ocean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! I'm so sorry I haven't posted in weeks. I've had to deal with some family issues lately, so I haven't been able to post as much as I had wished. And I know this is a chapter with no Dan and Phil, but I promise it will come soon!  
> Enjoy!

?:??!$@## pov

 

_You smell that? That's the ocean. And your toes are buried deep in the sand._

**I can taste the salt!**

_Ah, of course you can meu amor! Our ancestors came from the sea with fish. So now we eat that fish, and thank our ancestors for that._

…….

 

**Mamãe! Mamãe! Help! I-I!**

_Nao nao! Are you okay? Meu Deus, you scared me so much! What happened?_

**I was just, floating and-**

_Meu amor, you must understand, the ocean is beautiful and soothing, but also very dangerous. Our ancestors loved the salty sea, yes, but that's not to say some didn't taste it in their lungs._

…….

 

**When you float in the sea, I was told you do not think. And they were right. I only heard the sounds of the ocean gushing through my ears into my brain. I could taste the salt on my lips. When I opened my eyes, I was greeted with a lovely maze of stars that created a picture. I didn't think the sea could take over me, but it did. It pulled me in with a giant wave. My hair floated behind me, with the straps of my swimsuit tickling the back of my neck. I felt the water fill up my lungs, but  felt a burst of color and curiosity. My eyes opened to see a light. It whispered: “Deixe-me vigiar você, pois as estrelas se alinharão para você, e o mar será seu.” I swam to it, letting myself become the ocean, the stars, what made me myself. But now I know that the stars did align for me. But in a different light.**

 

…….

 

_Sing with me, meu amor._

**Mhm.**

**_“As ondas do oceano enchem os pulmões com estrelas e cores, mas apenas para as boas garotas que vão pela luz.”_ **

…….


	39. Beach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I bet you were wondering where the fuck I was for a month. So I went to Portugal woop woop but it turned out there was no wifi. The only reason why I had a random update was because I was in a restaurant with free WiFi so that was the only time I could update. So, inspired by my trip, a bunch of shit was about the ocean.
> 
> ALSO THIS IS IMPORTANT: I'm going to edit the story! Don't worry, nothing is changing about the story. I'm just putting everything in past tense.
> 
> SO have this  
> Also side note all of the stuff in here that isn't English is in Portuguese

Ella's pov

  


I woke up to an empty bed. I looked at the clock. It flashed 3:09. I rubbed my eyes and looked back at the nightstand. There was a note and Phil's phone on it. The note read: _Went to lunch. Call when you wake up. -D+P._ I trudged to the bathroom to fully wake up. I brushed my teeth and hair. I pulled some clothes on, and dialed Dan's number. There were two rings before he picked up.

“Well good morning to you!” Dan said, mockingly.

“I'm sorry. I was so tired,” I groaned.

“Well, we’re coming up now. It's our last day here, so why not visit the beach?” Dan said. I could hear him smiling through the phone.

“So that's why you insisted that I brought a swimsuit!” I smiled.

“Be there in a bit, okay?” Dan asked.

“Yes, and I love you.” I responded.

“You to!” He said. I hung up first.

I put on the one bathing suit I had packed, and went toward the mini fridge. There were two small bags of chips and some water. I sat on the bed, eating, until they walked in. By then, I had already finished the two small bags of chips. We walked out of the room and headed toward the rental cars.

***

We were driving for a while before we stopped to fill up on gas. Phil and I walked into the Quick Check. He bought candy while I went to the bathroom. Once I walked out, I saw the older kids that went to my old school.

“Ella! My God kid, you grew a bunch!” Logan, a boy-girl, laughed. Logan explained to me that they were a boy-girl; they changed each day.

“How are you, dear? Good heavens, I haven't seen you in forever!” Reese smiled. She has a British accent.

“Guess I'm still the shortest,” Peri chuckled. I was an inch taller than her. Phil only smiled. I gave them all goodbyes, and walked out.

“Popular, huh?” Phil chuckled.

“Mmm,” I let out an uncomfortable sigh, “only with the older kids.”

***

We pulled into the beach parking lot. It was rather quiet for a Saturday at five o’clock. We sat and talked about nothing special or spectacular. I pointed out the sun setting in the sky. The sun was pink with orange dripping off of it, like orange cream ice cream. The sun looked like it was easing into the sea. I ran toward it, and dipped my feet in the water. It slowly pulled me in. I started to sing what my grandma would on nights like this in Portugal.

_“As ondas do oceano enchem os pulmões com estrelas e cores, mas apenas para as boas garotas que vão pela luz.”_

Before either Dan or Phil could speak, I said,

“My grandma would tell me stories about the ocean, how it moved slowly. She said that the ocean gave us wonderful things. But the greatest thing it gave us were the waves. But you can't go too deep. Or else you'll drown. I drowned that night. She said I wanted to be with the ocean forever. And I did. But now I don't need to run to the ocean. Because now I have nothing to run from.”

___

  



	40. VHSs and CDs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys  
> no im not dead.  
> And yes, there is a reason for my hiatus. I lost interest in writing temporarily, mainly because I didn't know what to write about. I couldn't let my mind stay on a subject. As a sorry, have an angst-ish chapter  
> thank you all for understanding  
> Enjoy!

Phil’s pov

 

It felt nice to be back at home in the apartment. It felt nice just to rest and be alone with my thoughts. Dan seemed to like it to, because he fell right asleep. Ella didn’t, so I wandered into her room. She was looking through a shoebox. There were pieces of paper scattered everywhere. Polaroid pictures decorated the bed, along with VHS tapes and marbles. There were scattered CDs and paints everywhere. There were little toy ponies that looked like they went through some wear and tear. There were hardcover books without sleeves on the edge of the bed. A bunch of bracelets were scattered all over the hardwood floor. She was smiling at the mess she made, while holding the VHS tapes and CDs close to her chest. She was smiling, but crying all at once.

 

“Uh, I don’t think I should intrude, but are you okay?” I asked solemnly.

She looked over at me, with her mouth making a little ”O” shape. She scrambled and started shoving all the stuff back in the shoebox, putting the VHS tapes nd CDs back last.

“Um, you really weren’t supposed to see me like this,” she said as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

“May I ask why?”

“I just...” she paused. “I thought you would be mad at me.”

“What would I be mad at you?” I asked. She was avoiding looking me in the eye.

“It was pictures of my old home. And the CDs and VHS tapes were from the orphanage,” She winced and braced for some kind of impact. I just calmly walked over and kneeled over by her bed.

“Now why would I be mad at you for doing that?” I asked curiously.

“I thought that you would think that I was ungrateful. That I wanted to go back,” She whispered.

I processed this slowly. She must have been in one hell of a place if she thinks I’ll punish her for something petty like that.

“No of course not! It’s completely okay to look back.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

___

 


	41. Walk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo im back my dudes  
> a quick note: ill be editing this story  
> nothing major is changing, just putting everything in past tense  
> boiiiii

Ella's pov

I quickly grabbed my small backpack and stuffed it with music and my ukulele. I wasn't going to run, but walk. I was going to walk until the sun hid itself under the ground. I threw on my shoes, and opened my window. I knew that they might worry, so I left a note saying that I was going for a bit. I picked up a pencil before I left the room. I put one foot on the fire escape, and looked behind me. I sighed, and went all the way out. I made sure the window was unlocked, then shutting it. I quickly stepped down the fire escape onto the pavement. The air smelled like fall spices with a mix of motor oil. Not many people were on the street. Only tourists, people going home from work, and kids getting home late coming form an after school activity. I sighed, thinking of what it would be like to go to school. Not many kids enjoy it, but I would like to learn a little bit. Maybe it would be nice having a routine. Friends. Things to occupy myself with. 

 

My feet pattered against the pavement. I stared up at the sky to keep track of time. I walked and walked and walked, tracking my steps. I knew my way around everything, knowing all of the nooks and crannies of this city. It hurt to think about how much I knew about the place. I’ve ran away from my house, and had to live by myself for a while, until I was found. I didn’t like being found. I didn’t want to be at the time. I would have rather lived alone, with no one being with me. I felt as if I didn’t need anybody. In the end though, I was taken. And I’m kind of glad I was. 

 

I looked back up at the sky, that had a pink melon color, with a hint of orange ice cream. I breathed in the air, and turned around to go back home.

 

_ I’m glad I was found. Now I have a place to call home. _

___


	42. Walk: Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo more than 1 chapter in a day woooooooooooooo

Dan’s pov

 

I started walking to her room after hearing the loud thud of the window closing. I heard the clink clink of steel. Her room went silent. My heart dropped as I sprinted up the stairs, hoping she was still there, and that all of this was only in my head. I quickly opened the door to see that she wasn’t there. There was a note on her bed, and the window was unlocked. My heart stopped for a brief moment, knowing that she was gone. I grabbed the note with shaking hands. It said:

 

_ I just went out for a little walk. Don’t worry, I’ll be back. I needed some fresh air. _

_ -Ella _

 

I let out a tiny sigh of relief. At least she wasn’t running away. My mind then went wild with worry. What if she got lost? What if she got jumped? What if she got kidnapped? Or  _ worse _ . I threw the note down and sprinted to the lounge, where Phil was watching TV.

“Is something wrong?” He asked.

“Uh, Ella went out the window. She said she was taking a walk, but I’m kinda worried,” I rambled out fast.  

He stared at his feet for a moment, as if he was thinking hard about what could happen to her. Without saying anything, he grabbed his coat and ran down the stairs. I followed after him quickly, and grabbed my coat off the hanger. We walked to where her window and fire escape was. We had no idea where she went. We decided to go left, as a guess. Phil said nothing as we walked, and I thought it wasn’t a good idea to start conversation. He walked quickly with a strong stride. I trailed behind him, the cold air hitting my face. I hadn’t realized how cold it was. 

 

We turned the corner to see a little girl with red hair and a purple hoodie looking at the sky in front of us. She was humming to herself. I let out a sigh of relief, but Phil walked toward her quickly. He put his hand on her shoulder. Ella shot upright and then sprinted back where she came from. Phil looked at me, confused. He motioned for me to follow him. Before I knew it, we were sprinting, trying to get her back.

___


	43. Walk: Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> three? yeah you guys deserve 3 chapters after me being dead

Ella’s pov

 

I stopped for a moment, to look around. The tune swirled around in my head.  _ “Look around, look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now…” _ . I started to hum along with the familiar tune. I felt a hand firmly place itself on my shoulder. I spiked up.  _ This person could kill me. This person could kill me. This person could rob me. This person could do  _ **_worse_ ** _. _ I bolt of of the hands’ grasp. I let my feet go  _ thunk thunk _ on the pavement, my backpack bouncing along with me. My hair wisped in the wind. For a brief moment, I heard no sound except my own feet. No one was following me. I was okay. I slowed my pace, looking behind me. Two men came barreling from the other side. The were running toward me. I turned straight and bolted once again. I ran straight for my home.  _ Home _ . what if they take me and I won’t get to home? I started to cry as I ran to the fire escape. 

“Wait! Wait!” The voices shouted behind me.

Now, I peeled myself faster up the rusted steps and opened my window. I threw myself into my room, and then locked the window shut. I slid down the wall, hitting the carpeted floor softly. I curled into a ball and cried into my knees.

_ At least I was home. _

 


	44. Walk: Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ello again guys
> 
> have another chapter
> 
> yall deserve it  
> AND!!!!!!  
> guess who's getting a Christmas chapter  
> YOU! (but not yet)  
> Enjoy!

Phil’s pov

I ran into the house and threw my coat onto the floor. I hobbled up the stairs. I threw open her door. She was lying up against the wall, her head in her knees. She looked terrified, to say the least. Her whole body was shaking uncontrollably. She couldn’t seem to stop moving. She was whispering to herself, as if it were a coping mechanism to calm her down, but it didn’t seem to be working. It just made her cry more. Her head sprang up at the sound of my feet on the carpeted floor. She looked as if she saw a ghost in front of her face. Her eyes were beat red, stained and glossy. Her whole face was red, actually. I took a step forward, but she pushed herself closer against the wall. She cowered her head in fear, as if I was a demon coming for her. I stepped back, giving her the space she needed. I decided not to leave the room, to make sure she didn’t leave again.

Dan walked close to the room, but stopped at the doorway. He didn’t need to ask any questions to know what was going on. He leaned against the doorway, waiting for her to calm down. After maybe ten minutes, she stopped crying, but she didn’t look up at either of us. She just sat there, not moving. Dan and I looked at each other for a brief moment, seeing if the other could register what she was doing. Once we looked back at her, she was tapping the side of her leg in a sort of rhythm. Her lips were moving slightly, and if you were dead quiet, you could hear her counting beats.  _ One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.  _ She slowly unraveled herself from her ball, with her legs sprawled out in front of her. Her eyes were closed, but she was still tapping. After another minute, she stopped tapping, and opened her eyes. She said the first word.

“I’m sorry.”

Dan and I didn’t respond right away. Neither of us knew what to say to her. She looked genuinely sorry for what she did, even though we knew she kind of needed it. She hasn’t really been out of the house since we brought her in. She can’t be enrolled in school until the new year. She needed the fresh air. What confused me is why she didn’t tell us.

“Ella-” Dan started, but was quickly cut off.

“I’m so  _ sorry _ .” Ella pleaded, as if we were going to kick her out, or something.

“I’m not mad. I promise. And I forgive you, but can you please tell me why you left the house without us?” Dan said calmly.

“I..I’m not sure why. I’m not used to this. I needed air. I needed to walk. I needed to leave for a bit. I’ve been walking and leaving like this for a while, so I guess habit kinda sets in too. I never really had to tell anyone I was going, because nobody would’ve really cared,” she rambled.

“Well,” I began to speak, “If you had told us, we would have gone with you. We just didn’t want you to get hurt or anything like that. You don’t need to keep secrets anymore.”

She only nodded in agreement.

“Do you want to sleep now?” Dan asked her. Before I could protest, he pointed at her. Her eyes looked red and droopy. She looked exhausted. I sighed, and stood up.

“Yes please.”

We let her change, and then we put her to bed. The door shut with a click

\----

I walked into the lounge where Dan sat on the couch. Before I said anything, he opened his mouth.

“You know, raising a kid is no walk in the park.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think she’d run away!” I protested.

“Phil, she needed the air-”

“She could’ve at least told us!”

“I know, I know. She’s just not used to it all,”

“Used to all of what!?”

“Being  **_cared about!_ ** ” Dan’s voice rattled through the house. He’s never yelled like that ever, and I didn’t think he’d get that heated around me. There was a long pause before he spoke again.

“Look. How about tomorrow we put up the Christmas decorations. Tree and everything. A bondinging thing, ya know? Plus, it could be fun,” Dan suggested.

“That’ll make her happy, I’m sure.” I said.

We stood there in silence for a while. We both have never raised out voices that much. 

“I’m sorry for yelling,” Dan said.

“Me too. At least tomorrow we can gest festive!” I did a little dance.

Dan laughed. 

“You’re a nerd.”

____


	45. **NOT AN UPDATE, JUST IMPORTANT**

Hello!

 

I know I made this announcement before, but just as a reminder, this fic is being "revised" in a way. Nothing dramatic is changing, I'm just fixing grammar and making things better and not a mess. I would appreciate it if you looked back at some of the earlier chapters to read the improvement I've made. This isn't required or anything; just recommended. 

 

 

Thanks!


	46. VERY IMPORTANT

Hey guys

As you can see, I've been extremely inactive, and there's a reason for that.

I've lost interest in the ship, and in Dan and Phil as well. I still watch their videos occasionally, but not often. They don't post on their main channels any more, and well, I grew up. People grow out of or loose interest in things, and that's okay.

If I'm being honest, I lost interest in the ship a while ago. It seemed weird to me after some time. It felt awkward writing about them. None of it felt right to me. I didn't want to update anything. I lost interest. 

Another reason why I stopped writing was because I felt as if this fic was dragging on. Actually, I planned to end the fic around Easter of 2017! I wanted to do this a while ago. I didn't because I felt that it was leaving you with nothing, but the real problem is that most of these chapters are filler. They don't advance the plot at all. You guys don't deserve that. Due to this, I will be deleting some chapters that I find to be unnecessary. I won't get rid of all the filler, I just will if I don't like it.

So, this fic will be ending very soon.

And don't worry. I'll squeeze in a few chapters before getting to a conclusion I'm satisfied with. 

I hope you all understand where I'm coming from.


	47. Chapter 47

Ella's pov

 

This was not how I pictured it ending. 

 

This all kind of started as an experiment in my mind. I wasn't sure if I could trust them at all. 

 

It turns out that I could.

 

I picked up my bags from the floor. My hair was now at my shoulders. I finally had clothes that fit, and just for a moment, I felt at ease. Everything went the way I planned it to be. I grew up, and that was all I could say, at the time. I wasn't really grown though. I wasn't a child anymore either. I guess I was just ready. Or maybe I just got taller.

 

I looked back at the old flat. It was rather empty, in a way. When they had moved, they took everything with them, except for some furniture. It felt empty. That wasn't such a bad thing, though. 

 

  
"Goodbye, old friend," I said to the flat, pressing my hand to the front door.

 

I was going to miss that place. 

 

But hey, 

I'm still their little lion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> It has been done. I told you I wasn't going to leave you hanging, even though I said that months ago. 
> 
> Thank you for reading this. I had so much fun writing it at the time, and it means a lot to me that so many people loved reading my stories.
> 
> Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  
> -Izzy


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